365 questions: 91 - 110

91. What personal prisons have you built out of fears?  I am afraid of failure, so I don't often put myself in situations where I would be challenged, because I don't want to take that risk. I am afraid of letting others down or disappointing others, so I plan my life according to what I think others would want of me and not what I truly want myself. Lastly, I am afraid of being hurt, so if I sense hurt incoming, I will lash out - seemingly to protect myself, even though it doesn't do any good. 

92. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  A recent thing I had really wanted to do but didn't was bungee jump off the Europe bridge in Innsbruck. I also would really like to finally graduate with my Bachelor's, and I would really like to visit all seven continents. 


93. Why are you, you?  I am my own unique collection of memories, experiences, values, and beliefs. I am me because my dad took me camping and fishing with Roger Beaty when I was little (which was the start of my love of at least the former). I am me because I was not allowed to quit piano lessons (which led me into my music major and accompanying at church in Moscow). I am me because I joined a sorority (which gave me a lot of experiences - both positive and negative, that helped shape who I am). I am me because I called off a not-engagement (nearly four years with someone and planning a wedding together changes your view on life). Every experience I have had has made me who I am today. 

94. If you haven’t achieved it yet what do you have to lose?  Dignity, I suppose, if you try and don't succeed. Other than that, nothing. 


95. What three words would you use to describe the last three months of your life?  Eye-opening whirlwind.

96. Is it ever right to do the wrong thing?  Is it ever wrong to do the right thing?  I think there are things that are inherently right and wrong, and I also think there are things that are right and wrong on an individual level. So what I consider "the wrong thing" may, for someone else, be the right thing. However, if you consider something to be wrong, then you think that way for a reason and it is not right to do what is wrong for you. 


97. How would you describe ‘freedom’ in your own words?  Freedom is the ability to do what I want, when I want, within a set of reasonable constraints. Americans have freedoms granted to us through our Constitution, but I do not believe that we possess an overarching freedom. 

98. What is the most important thing you could do right now in your personal life?  Get skinny again. It would boost my self-confidence and show me that I can succeed if I am dedicated enough to something which I believe will radiate into the rest of my endeavors. 


99. If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, who would you ask and what would you ask?  I would ask Darren Hardy to be my personal mentor. 

100. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?  Something in music. Anything from performing (opera, broadway, or country) to directing a choir I think would be immensely fulfilling. 


101. What is your number one goal for the next six months?  Get skinny again.

102. Would you ever give up your life to save someone else?  I hope I would never be put in that position, but I would, depending on the person. 


103. Are you happy with yourself?  With my appearance, no. With myself as a person, yes. 

104. What is the meaning of ‘peace’ to you?  The best way I could think to describe it is an overwhelming sense of calm washing over you. 


105. What are three moral rules you will never break?  I will never be unfaithful. I will never have an abortion, because I don't believe I have the right to cut a life short. I will also never intentionally inflict physical pain on another person except in self-defense. 

106. What does it mean to allow another person to truly love you?  It means you open yourself up and are completely and totally vulnerable. You have no secrets. You trust them 100%. You are always honest and open sharing your feelings, thoughts, desires, and goals, because you trust that person to be supportive and not to judge you. 


107. Who or what do you think of when you think of love?  That's a little difficult, because I've been experiencing some confliction lately. I think of a lot of different people in a lot of different ways, but the person that immediately comes to mind is Kris. 

108. If your life was a novel, what would be the title and how would your story end?  Hmmm... the title is a tough one! It would certainly have the word "Adventure" in there somewhere. Perhaps something along the lines of "The Adventures of a world-traveling female Van Wilder." Because sadly, the Van Wilder tag isn't far off. 


109. What would you not give up for $1,000,000 in cash?  I would not give up my family. I would not give up love. I wouldn't give up my best friends. There's nothing material that I have that I wouldn't be willing to give up, though. I am trying to become a much more "transient" person, I guess. I'm passing through, and things don't matter so much. So especially for a million bucks, I'd gladly give up my possessions. 

110. When do you feel most like yourself?  At the end of a hot yoga class. When I am alone experiencing nature or beauty. I feel most like myself in a situation where I am at peace with myself and my surroundings.