Three busy months later...

I finished my 101 project with 38 goals complete! That wasn't quite where I was hoping to be, but I'm thrilled overall. Those are thirty-eight goals that I likely wouldn't have started, let alone completed, had I not sat down and made the conscious choice to do so.

Other life updates:

• School is going well! I am only half-time this semester and am set to graduate next Spring. 
• Since January 1st of this year, I have paid over $18,000 on my student loans. My balance is down under $65k, and should be paid off by the end of the year!!! 
• Dad asked, and I agreed to take over his business. I will be going home this summer to work with him for a few months and start learning the ropes. 

I started a new 101 project at the end of January. I haven't given it quite the attention it deserves yet, but I am looking forward to embarking on another journey! Some of the goals are repeats that I didn't finish last time, but about half of them are completely new. I've been ill for the last 2+ weeks, so I haven't really even gotten the chance to start on anything, but I plan to start my yoga challenge this week, and hopefully make good progress on the afghan over Spring Break in a few weeks.

I picked up a bunch of beautiful yarn in the last month. I'm hoping to be able to knit something quick for Erika for the wedding. And holy shit; I can't believe she's getting married in 38 days! 

Life is good. I'm happy, I'm successful, and I'm having fun. 

Until next time!! xoxo

365 questions: 342 - 365!!!

342. What is the closest you have ever come to fearing for your life?

Riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle in Canada. He drives like a maniac, and the twisty Canadian gravel roads don't agree with his driving style. I was planning my exit off the back in case something terrible were to happen. 


343. How do you deal with isolation and loneliness?

I wrap myself up in whatever I'm doing. I never have a lack of obligations or responsibilities, with my tendency to over-commit myself to everything. I typically either work more or focus on homework like I should. Sometimes I cry about it and take a bubble bath. I very rarely get lonely.



344. What do you know well enough to teach to others?

Plenty of things. I made my living teaching others for a year! ACT/SAT/PSAT test prep, math through college level, biology, chemistry, anatomy & physiology, English. Non-academic: virtually everything there is to know about wine, particularly Old-World regions and varietals; beer; spirits (particularly scotch whiskey); knitting; cooking.  


345. What’s a quick decision you once made that changed your life?

The decision I made to go to Europe was a pretty impulsive one that definitely shaped that summer, for sure. A quick decision that changed my entire life, though? Probably buying my plane ticket to Jacksonville six and a half years ago. It was a total impulse thing.



346. What have you lost interest in recently?

Last weekend was a pretty traumatic experience for me, and I've been having a difficult time coping. I wouldn't say I've necessarily lost interest, but I've lost motivation to do a lot of things - schoolwork, showering, housekeeping. 

347. What makes life easier?

Lots of things. Money. A great support network. An education. Limited bills. And the love of a wonderful partner.



348. What was the last thing you furiously argued about with someone?

I don't "furiously argue" about much of anything, but I was very upset about how work handled a situation and when Kyle said he could see their side, I got slightly irrational. 


349. What job would you never do no matter how much it paid?

Janitorial work. I won't clean toilets, period. I dislike cleaning my own enough. I definitely wouldn't clean anyone else's!



350. What is the number one solution to healing the world?

Love. More love = less hate, more tolerance, better support systems, and more heartfelt response to tragedy.


351. What could society do without?

Haters



352. What stresses you out?

Others' expectations. I'm not stressed by responsibility, but I'm definitely stressed by someone else's perception of what I should be doing with that responsibility, or how I succeed in situations. 


353. Now that it’s behind you, what did you do last week that was memorable?

Finished another book toward my 101!



354. Where do you spend most of your time while you’re awake?

Usually at school. I have school for more than seven hours a day, four days a week. So I spend a lot of time on campus. When I'm not at school, I'm almost always at work.


355. What makes someone a hero?

I think heroism is incredibly personal, so a hero to me would likely not be a hero to anyone else. However, I would say a hero is someone who attempted a selfless act at great personal risk to themselves. Alternatively, someone who has a lasting positive impact on someone's life.



356. When in your life have you been a victim of stereotyping?

I'm a redhead. I'm also a girl in a science field (engineering, then math). The vast majority of my education, I've surprised people. 


357. When was the last time you felt lucky?

Kyle and I scored a free room at a gorgeous B&B in Sedona for Veteran's Day as a thank-you for his service. That was pretty lucky!



358. When did you first realize that life is short?

I've experienced a lot of loss, but I think one of the most poignant was a guy I went to high school with, who was a year behind me. He passed away my first year out of high school and I went back home for the funeral. Totally normal kid, senior in high school, friends with everyone, and didn't make it to his own graduation. 


359. What is the most insensitive thing a person can do?

Ignore you when you need them



360. What can someone do to grab your attention?

Say something about expensive wine or yummy food! 


361. What do you usually think about on your drive home from work?

How freakishly tired I am, and whether or not I'm staying between the lane lines



362. What’s one downside of the modern day world?

Easy internet access for kids is dumbing down their vocabulary. Just take one quick look at Youtube. 


363. What simple fact do you wish more people understood?

Hard work will get you far in life. Quit skating through life and passing off your work to everyone else!



364. If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?

I firmly believe in learning from past life experiences rather than regretting them. But I do wish I would've scheduled my plane ticket for a few days before Grandpa Jer passed away. I would have really loved to see him once more. 


365. How would you describe your future in three words?

It looks bright.

365 questions: 333-341

333. What confuses you?

Probably my biggest confusion right now lies with education politics. ASU frustrates me. Federal student loan drama frustrates me. And all wrapped up together, it's a confusing bundle. Education is encouraged, but financially unattainable for so many.


334. In what way are you your own worst enemy?

I don't set myself up for success. I have a tendency to not do homework, because I don't feel like it, or because I often find it menial, and it affects my grade much later down the road. I also (as has been mentioned previously) am not the world's greatest communicator and tend toward emotional reactions. 


335. When did you not speak up when you should have?

I have always had difficulty with the word "no." I don't like negatively affecting others' opinion of me. However, I have recently been making more of a stand for myself.


336. What is your favorite quote?

The entire poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling. I absolutely adore it. 


337. What is your favorite fictional story?  (novel, movie, fairytale, etc.)

I think Jurrasic Park is pretty awesome. Plus, Michael Crichton is one of my favorite authors ever.



338. Where or who do you turn to when you need good advice?

My mama is always a good listener. Erika is pretty wonderful as well. And Kyle knows me better than pretty much anyone, so I value what he thinks. I also tend to spend a lot of time alone when I'm going through something stressful, so I have time to process and think. 


339. What artistic medium do you use to express yourself?

Music has always been my outlet of choice. I haven't had the opportunity to play piano very often in the last few years, but my music is definitely my artistic medium. Anything that relates to it, as well, is fair game. I have gone dancing on a fairly regular basis, as it's an expression of your body to music.



340. Who or what is the greatest enemy of mankind?

Today, I'm inclined to believe it's our own nation's Congress. Damn, guys. Get your shit together. Because it's OH SO TERRIBLE to allow me to stay on my parents' insurance (if they had any) for another year. 

341. What’s something you wish you had done earlier in life?

In the same vein as the previous question... got my shit together. I wish I would've found my focus much earlier, so I wasn't still in school for my undergraduate degree and $80,000 in debt.

365 questions: 317 - 325

317. When was your first impression of someone totally wrong?

Honestly, I don't know. I'm usually pretty good at judging people on a first impression. If I had to give an answer, I'd probably say when the newest manager at work started, I thought she was a little bitchy. But I've definitely warmed up to her as she's warmed up to her position, and she's one of my two favorite managers at work now.


318. How many hours a week do you spend online?

It depends on how much I'm working. I generally work about 70 hours per week, and spend a large percentage of my free time at home utilizing the internet - logging hours for clients, researching new questions and methods, and the obvious - email, facebook, blogging (though I haven't had much free time lately!), and entertainment. I would guess about 12-15 hours per week. I compose a LOT of emails on my phone, which are included in that time. 

319. What do you love to do?

I love to read. I love to practice yoga and love to sleep in. I love to hike, and travel, and drink expensive wine. I love to take bubble baths. I love to snuggle up next to the fire. I love to eat amazing food, and love to experiment in the kitchen. I love to kiss. I love lots of things.



320. What specific character trait do you want to be known for?

Integrity. It encompasses honesty, trustworthiness, and respect - three things that are of utmost importance to me. 


321. Are you more like your mom or your dad?  In what way?

I would probably say my dad. As a friend told me at my sister's wedding, I am my dad - exactly. We have very similar personalities and even look very similar. I get my beautiful red hair from him, too. :)



322. What is the number one quality that makes someone a good leader?

I would probably say integrity here, too. You have to inspire people. People have to believe in you in order to want to follow. 


323. What bad habits do you want to break?

I'm too non-confrontational. I wish I could say no more easily. I'd also like to break myself of poor communication habits.


324. What is your favorite place on Earth?

Favorite locale is definitely Innsbruck, Austria. My favorite city in the world! 


325. What do you love to practice?

I love to practice being a better person. I love to practice Bikram yoga, and I also love to practice making babies.

365 questions: 311 - 316

311. What is your biggest pet peeve?

The first thing that came to mind is dishonesty, but I think that's probably a bigger deal than a "pet peeve." So for little stuff, I'd probably say having my toilet seat left up, improper grammar, and not fully listening during a conversation. 


312. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

My mom. I called her so she could hear the crazy hail on my car when I was driving down the highway. 


313. What is your biggest phobia?

Honestly, it might sound silly, but my biggest fear is not having loads of people to extol my value at my funeral. I want to live a life that impacts others in a big way, and I'm afraid that I won't. 


314. What are some recent compliments you’ve received?

I get compliments on my hair almost daily. I've also been told lately that I'm smart. 


315. How many friends do you have in real life that you talk to regularly?

A bunch. My bestie, Erika. All the fabulous people I work with. Kate. Amy. I feel really blessed to have such a wonderful group of close friends. 


316. How much money per month is enough for you to live comfortably?

My student loans take a huge chunk out of my available cash, but I could live comfortably with $1500 - $2000/mo. 

365 questions: 292 - 310!

292. What is the biggest obstacle that stands in your way right now?

I love the quote from Bridesmaids - "You are your problem. And you're also your solution, Annie." My biggest obstacle is always myself. My biggest obstacle to not having a job I adore is a combination of fear and having wasted so much time in school - both coming back to me. My biggest obstacle in relationships is communication - something that I try to better in myself, but where I am never perfect. I am the only thing I am able to change, so I am the only obstacle on which I should focus. 


293. What do you sometimes pretend you understand that you really don’t?

Men. It's not so much that I pretend that I understand them. I sometimes think I do, and then realize I really don't. 


294. What do you like most about your job?  What do you dislike most about your job?

Oh, boy. My full-time job, I like that I am able to educate others. That is always rewarding for me. I dislike pretty much everything else about the job. I work with management that doesn't appreciate the time and effort I put in. I work a shitty wage and am never recognized for my accomplishments. That is frustrating. My tutoring job, I absolutely adore. I love my clients, and I love helping someone master a new concept. I love that, when I show up to a particular client's house, she almost always offers a glass of wine. The only thing I dislike is that it is a 30+ minute drive to meet with some clients. 


295. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself?

Recently, I learned that I still don't really know where I'm going. There are so many paths in life that appeal to me, and it's difficult for me to choose one and focus on it while still feeling like my family will be proud of me. 


296. In one sentence, how would you describe your relationship with your mother?

She is a wonderful friend, and I'm glad we are so close. 


297. What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year?

My little sister's wedding. There was a lot going on that day that made it stick out. I had a conversation with an incredibly wise friend that changed my outlook on a few things. I stood up with my little sister as she made one of the most important decisions of her life. I observed a few behaviors from others that really bothered me. And I learned a little more about myself. 


298. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?

I need to figure my shit out. I need to find a direction, and pursue it. 


299. What makes you feel secure?

Love. Hugs from behind while I'm doing the dishes, or slaving away over the stove. Having enough money in the bank to do whatever I want. 


300. What is your favorite sound?

Rain on the roof, for sure. It's one of my favorite things in the world. 


301. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?

Honesty, trustworthiness, and happiness. I want to surround myself with people who genuinely enjoy life, who will tell me the truth, and who always have my back. 


302. What simple gesture have you recently witnessed that renewed your hope in humanity?

I received a card in the mail today from someone who I've never met, just because she knew I was having a difficult time. It was incredibly special. 


303. What is your favorite smell?

That would probably be homemade baked bread. Cookies are up there, too, though. I love coming home and having the smell of amazing food greet me. 


304. What recent memory makes you smile the most?

About two weeks ago, we had a wine class at work. I usually am unavailable on Thursday evenings because I work with a tutoring client at that time. However, she had cancelled and I texted Kyle asking if he wanted to join me for the class. He led me to believe he would be working late and wouldn't be able to make it. When I got a text message saying he was already there and asking where I was, that definitely put a smile on my face. 


305. In one word, how would you describe your childhood?

Generous. I never wanted as a child. 


306. What celebrities do you admire?  Why?

...Are there admirable celebrities out there right now? I can't say that I really admire anyone. 


307. What is the number one motivator in your life right now?

Happiness. I have decided to live for myself and do what makes me happy. Currently, that's buying a gorgeous painting to hang above my fireplace, and saving up for land in Sedona, because that's one of my favorite places in the world. 


308. What music do you listen to to lift your spirits when you’re feeling down?

It depends. I almost always listen to country, but I have a number of different playlists. Lately, I've been listening to my "Sedona Roadtrippin'" playlist, which has some hip-hop and some rock interspersed in there. My "Hicktown" playlist usually does the trick, too. 


309. If I gave you $1000 and told you that you had to spend it today, what would you buy?

If I could spend it on whatever I wanted, I would pay down part of my student loans. If I had to buy a material item, probably the wine fridge I've been eyeing at Costco. 142 bottles for $999. 


310. What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?

I attended a super fun workshop tonight that had me laughing nearly the entire time. I love Express MiE! 

365 questions: 281 - 291

281. Who has had the greatest impact on your life?

My parents. They raised me with the intention of shaping me into a respectable adult. For the most part, they've succeeded. 


282. Are you happy with where you are in your life?  Why?

Mostly, yes. I sometimes wish I had more to show for where I'm at, but I'm working toward that goal! 



283. In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?

I will be a land-owner, and I will no longer be working at a job I loathe. 


284. How have you sabotaged yourself in the past five years?

I've switched my major yet again. (and again, and again.) I spent all my money in Europe because I planned poorly. And I have not seen the detriment that my communication habits truly were. 



285. Other than money, what else have you gained from your current job?

I have gained knowledge, experience, and coworkers that consider me family. 


286. Whom do you secretly envy?  Why?

Anyone who has their shit together more than I do. Sometimes I look back on my mom at my age, and think - she was married by the time she was 24. My parents had been millionaires, built their own home from the ground up, moved out of state, and started over - all by the time my mom was nearly 25. I feel like I should have experienced so much more by now, and I am envious of all my friends from high school who are no older than I, but are in such a different place in life. 



287. In twenty years, what do you want to remember?

I want to remember that, in the year I turned 25, I was happy, and people were proud of me. 


288. What are you most excited about in your life right now – today?

Um, I'm excited that I get paid on Friday and can pay down my credit card, since I used it too much last month. I'm excited that yesterday, I talked to my first loan officer. I'm excited to read the book he gave me, and I'm excited that I got two awesome messages offering work modeling yesterday. 



289. What experience from this past year do you appreciate the most?

Not so much an experience, but a realization - that I was sabotaging my relationships because of a fatal communication mistake. I'm so glad I realized that, so I can vow never to repeat it. 


290. What is the most enjoyable thing your family has done together in the last three years?

My little sister got married last month, and we had a good time. Other than that, one of my favorite memories is when Kyle and I took my mom to Sedona around Christmas, 2010. 

It was super cold, and I was not impressed.

291. How many hours of television do you watch in a week?  A month?  A year?

Conventional television? None whatsoever. I gave away my tv. Sometimes when I go to the gym (which is very rarely), I'll watch the cooking channel, or something moderately interesting. But I would say less than 20 hours of tv per year, overall. 

I'm still a bookworm.

I love having days off - or days where I work minimally, as was the case today. I went to class, turned in my first homework assignment (and had my first quiz!), had a tutoring session with Amy, and then had the rest of the day to myself.

And, as is the case usually when I have the afternoon free, I read. I finished two books today, in fact!

Something I've always struggled with, but perhaps more in the last few years, is watching parents display love for their children that I feel is conditional, or misplaced, or judging, or in some way harmful. I have always heard/read/been taught that the love between a parent and a child is the purest form of love that exists. However, not being a parent myself, it's hard for me to weigh in. Even if I were, it's almost never my place to say anything when I'm observing a situation like the one I mentioned, and when it is, my feedback generally wouldn't be well received.

One of the books I read today was a collection of essays written by parents of transgender children. Reading of their heartbreak, struggles, and yet (usually) unconditional love was so moving. There are many things that a parent would likely struggle with when raising a child, but none that are so life-changing for both parties as coming-out as transgender. For the more religious and conservative families, many of the parents question their parenting abilities and where they "went wrong." Yet the overwhelming theme in these essays was the happiness of their child, not the parents' individual stance on morality.

I had this beautiful baby given to me, and my one and only wish was for his happiness.             - Debi Russell

I have often wondered if I had a child who came out as gender-nonconforming or gay, how I would respond. I would certainly like to think it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I have a lesbian aunt, several close gender-nonconforming friends, and queer customers I interact with on a nearly-daily basis. However, I think my conservative upbringing would lead me to react poorly at first.

It was so heart-warming to read that it's okay to not always say the right thing. That, even though your heart is in the right place and your love for your child is evident, you'll sometimes make mistakes along the way. The most important person in that relationship is not you; it is your child.

We signed up as parents to be the best guides for him that we can be, not for us, but for him.   - Cheryl Kilodavis

This book just reinforced everything I've been reading lately about love. I've really been struggling with the position I see from a lot of fundamental Christians, which is love within the constraints of their moral position and "guidance" if your actions are outside of their moral comfort zone, which doesn't typically look very loving.

So anyway, all that to say the book Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle, and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children is fabulous. It gives some beautiful examples of love if you need a pick-me-up, and allows for a glimpse into a world you probably wouldn't otherwise view.

Enjoy! xo

365 questions: 271 - 280!

271. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?

Fear of failure has stopped me from a lot, probably. I'm fairly impulsive, but I always err on the side of caution. I'm afraid of taking risks and being embarrassed by the result. 


272. Who would you like to please the most?

I know that I am most important. I should care most about pleasing myself. But I think my answer here would have to be my dad. His acceptance and approval has always been important to me - perhaps because we are so incredibly alike. 


273. If you could go back in time and change things, what would you change about the week that just passed?

Not a thing. I had an amazing week. I had a breakfast date with a man who makes my heart happy, and was snuggled to sleep most nights. I accepted a new tutoring client, and met with another new client for the first time. I had an amazing opportunity presented to me. I'm more than happy with the week that just passed. 


274. When you meet someone for the very first time what do you want them to think about you?

Perhaps the insecure and yet still vain part of me wants them to think I am beautiful. But mostly I want them to think I am intelligent, kind, and wonderful. 


275. Who would you like to forgive?

There's really only one person I've had a hard time forgiving, and I don't waste any time on her anymore. So no one, really. I have current frustrations, but I don't trouble myself with old grudges. 


276. At what point during the last five years have you felt lost and alone?

I actually sent my best friend a text message a few years ago that said exactly that - "I have never felt so lonely." September, 2010. 



277. What is one opportunity you believe you missed out on when you were younger?

I don't really know that I missed out on a whole lot. I was pretty blessed in that I didn't want for much when I was growing up. I had piano lessons with the best teachers around, I traveled to Europe with my competitive choir, and I received the best education available. 


278. What do you want more of in your life?

Relaxation. That would require a little more money. 



279. What do you want less of in your life?

Stress, for sure. And less of the job I really dislike. 


280. Who depends on you?

No one, really. My coworkers, for knowledge on occasion. My bird, because she would die out of her cage. But I don't have anyone depending on me for care. I don't have kids. I live alone. While Kyle relies on me to meet many of his needs, he would be just fine on his own, too. And I kinda like it this way. I can make decisions that might affect others, but won't be life-changing for anyone else. 

Happy 25th, Mom & Dad!

My parents have successfully managed to put up with each other for 25 years today!

The thought of 25 years with the same person is so daunting to me. They've raised my sister and I, are now empty-nesters... and still haven't killed each other yet. Impressive!

Congratulations, Mom & Dad. I love you guys.

Congratulations, little sister!

I am so glad to be home.

Little sister got married on Saturday. The fifteenth - just a few days ago. Up in Alaska. Outside. In December. We had tons of family in from out of town, and one of our German foreign exchange students from high school came over with her mom. The last week has been a total blur of family, new faces, stress, and general ridiculousness.

That's not to say it wasn't enjoyable! The wedding was gorgeous and I couldn't be happier for Sister and her new hubster. Welcome to the family, y'all.

Since I know all you really care about are the photos  -

Me! Preparing to stand in the cold. 

Beautiful little sister, pre-wedding. 

Little sister and her new hubster. Congrats!! 

They're off to Dubai for their sunny honeymoon, where they will doubtless have lots of relaxing and fun while I'm back to the daily grind here. I came home to 60 hours at work this week. This is me thrilled.

I'm officially the only sibling who hasn't been married yet, so I guess the pressure's on! Thank you to everyone who joined our family to celebrate this weekend.

xo

20 things I'm thankful for

I didn't do the 30 days of thanks thing. Obviously. But I think it's important, so here's the start of my list. I'll finish it in a few days, when I don't have to be at work six hours from the time I'm posting.


1. I am thankful for my family. My parents have provided me with this amazing home and my car, and I only have to pay for maintenance and "extras." It is such a huge burden lifted off my shoulders when I have outrageous student loans!

Thanksgiving is my fave.

It's my favorite holiday of the year. And not just for the food!

I was raised not celebrating Christmas. My dad's religious upbringing (prohibiting all holidays) combined with his bitterness toward the church ruled out all of that. No gift-giving (buying into commercialization), no tree or fancy dinner or awkward, organized circle of obligatory thank-yous while inwardly rolling your eyes at the latest present.

Instead, we made a big deal out of New Year's Eve and of Thanksgiving. New Year's Eve we spent as a family - just the four of us, laughing and watching movies and exchanging tokens of appreciation in an entertaining way. (The tales of the 'treasure hunts' Dad concocted will have to be saved for another day.) But Thanksgiving was something to be celebrated with all.

Some of my earliest Thanksgiving meals are at my Aunt Tammy's house. Not only did they include her, her children, and their spouses, but our family, Tammy's coworkers, and anyone she came across who didn't have Thanksgiving plans. We put together puzzles while the ladies slaved away in the kitchen and Shawn made his famous peanut-butter balls at the dining table. I played the piano while Amy took pictures of everyone chatting on the couch. The cousins played Risk in the spare bedroom, and I don't think I ever won.

All my Thanksgiving memories are special. They're about bonding with family. They're about deciding to take a nap after dinner, and crashing on the top bunk of your younger cousin's bunkbed, while an older cousin takes the bottom bunk. They're about Ben's "bumblebee buzzing out of the barn, with a great big ham sandwich under his arm" tickle attacks. They're about setting aside your diet plans for a day because Christie's eye-mouth tart is DIVINE. They're about people, and caring, and being important, and love.

Thanksgiving is all about love.

It's about love to me. And that's why it's so special.

In the last four years, since I moved down here, I haven't been able to spend a Thanksgiving with my family. The first year, Kyle and I went to the mid-afternoon Thanksgiving meal offered by ASU's off-campus student services office. The experience was sterile and weird (checking in and having someone cross your name off a list so you can enjoy some turkey and mashed potatoes), but it was still Thanksgiving, because I shared that experience with someone I loved. Year two, Kyle was deployed. I spent the day at Sandra's house with her family and felt right at home, because I was surrounded by love. And also puzzles. Year three, Kyle and I did a crazy, disjointed Thanksgiving dinner on our own, at my condo that I had just moved into that morning. But even though we ate in courses (the casserole pan had to be washed between cooking the green bean casserole and the carrots), the experience was full of love. Last year, Mark and I went over to Kris's house for Thanksgiving dinner. Again, an experience smothered in love. Slow-dancing in the living room with my date, knowing my bff had slaved over three pies just so Thanksgiving could be everything she thought I'd want it to be.

Tomorrow, I'm spending Thanksgiving with another family I love. Michael always has something beautiful and nice to say when he sees me. Syd is one of the greatest women I know down here. I am blessed to call them friends, and to share in the love in yet another slightly-dysfunctional Thanksgiving.

xo

365 questions: 256 - 260

256. When should you reveal a secret that you promised you wouldn’t reveal?

The mental health professional has established a good precedent on this one, I think. Only in situations of life and death, personal injury, or immediate harm. 

257. How would you spend your ideal day?

I'm a total homebody. Knitting, drinking hot cocoa in front of the fire, reading a book, snuggling with my man. Or winning the lottery. Or making oodles and oodles of money at a job I enjoy. 

258. What is the one primary quality you look for in a significant other?

Trustworthiness. If you can't trust your partner, there really is no relationship. 

259. What do you admire most about your mother and father?

They both work harder than anyone I know. My dad owns his own business and has worked incredibly long hours to provide for the family. He built it from the ground up after we moved up to Alaska and has made a name for himself that is recognized nation-wide in some circles. My mom is going back to school and has a 4.0 GPA. She studies like her life depends on it - determined to do her best. 

260. What is the best advice you have ever received?

Probably that to never regret. And I don't know that it was ever said to me; it's something that I've always tried to do. All other "sage advice" coming to mind has exceptions. 

I'm being spoiled.

In more ways than one.

My parents are pretty awesome sometimes. They are allowing me to live rent-free in their condo down here, and they even pay the electricity bill. Pretty nifty considering I have spendy wine and no wine fridge. I keep the house at no more than 75 degrees typically.

Except that I like it warmer. When Kyle and I lived together, I was constantly sneaking to turn up the air to 78 and he was following right behind me, turning it down to 72.

Apparently he's decided that his electricity bill is more important than his comfort, because he keeps his house much warmer than mine. Plus, he has an abnormally high body temperature (or it feels that way sometimes) so you hardly need a blanket when he's in bed.

Every time I come home now, I'm freakishly cold. My house is chilly. And every night before I go to bed, I turn up the heat because I don't have a bed-warmer sleeping over.

It's amusing the things I take for granted sometimes. Super cheap housing, a snugglebug, and good morning kisses even when you have stank breath.

Life isn't so bad after-all. I'm a pretty lucky lady.

July 101 update

Progress:

• donated some rice. 18,000+ grains, to be more specific. 
• read nine(ish) books. I lost track. I'm at 42 down, in case I lose track again next month. 
• visited another northwest state! I spent some time with my dear Erika in Seattle on Sunday. 

I didn't cross any off completely, because I sometimes fail at life. However, I feel like maybe this month is the month to change that and perhaps stop failing. 

Actually, I'm not super bummed about it. Hard to be The World's Most Productive Person when you have family in town for ten days and then Grandpa dies. I'm not sweating it. 

In other news, I have a year membership at my favorite Bikram studio now. Maybe that means I'll get skinny soon. I just have to get off my lazy ass and do something about it. 

In August, I will:

• make my first student loan payment in six years
• start reading a book in German
• read another 6+ books
• donate 50K+ grains of rice
• lose another 5 lbs. 

and then some. Wish me luck!!

xoxo

Grandpa Jer is gone.

Wednesday, I bought a ticket home for next week. I called and told him to hang in there - that I was coming.

Tonight, I got the call from Mom that he's gone. I know the last week has been a huge downhill slide, and there's no way to really have known when he would go. According to the doctors, he should have had another month and a half at least.

Cancer is a bitch. I'm glad I was able to chat with him this week and tell him I loved him, and I know that he loved me too. Now it looks like I'll be heading up this week to start attending to service plans rather than spending time with him.

Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. Grandpa Jer might have lived a wonderful, full 79 years, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Mom is in the house!

And we've been rockin' out (or relaxing, as might more often be the case) since she got here a week ago. She's experienced her first Arizona dust storm, eaten at The Melting Pot for the first time, and gotten her first senior discount at the grocery store. We've lounged by the pool, drank wine, moved furniture for the neighbors, and just generally been pretty awesome.

Sara managed to choose a wedding dress, and dresses for Mom, Sara, and me are all ordered. Quick plug for Schaffer's in Scottsdale - they are amazing. Lisa is one of the best bridal consultants I've ever worked with. Also, I'm too tired to care about dangling participles. Sorry.

I have the day off tomorrow to spend hangin' out with Mom, perhaps grabbing a cinnamon swirl from Great Harvest for breakfast, and lounging around on her last day. I've had a blasty blast and hopefully you'll see more of me pretty soon!

June 101 update

Completed:

• Got my brows threaded for the first time!! 

Progress:

• Read ten books. 
• Donated 5,800 grains of rice
• Lost another five lbs! 

So maybe I didn't get as much done as I had anticipated/hoped. But I got a bunch of reading out of the way, and hopped back on the freerice bandwagon. I'm making strides on getting other obligations paid off so I can concentrate on student loans. I have my modeling website up and running, and I've been making a few contacts for work. I've seen a handful of old movies, but ended up falling asleep in the middle of most of them, so I haven't been counting them toward my goal. 

Today has been full of responsible adult-ness. Chores and whatnot. But I'm about to get my rice on, and I might even finish an old movie tonight! 

Sara gets here in four days, and Mom comes to visit in eight, so I probably shouldn't make any promises on how much I'll complete this month. Here's to hoping I cross off two more goals and make progress on another two. 

I'll be back with a more comprehensive update later this week. :) 

xoxo!

Happy birthday to me!!

That's right, bitches. I'm the big 2-4. I worked on my birthday (an 11 hour shift - yay!) and then went out with coworkers afterward. Yeah, reverse happy hour!

Our waitress had mediocre-at-best camera skills. 

Someone at work had ordered cupcakes, Esti made chocolate chip cookies, Kate and David brought me a blizzard from DQ, and my mama had flowers delivered to me at work. It was a pretty spectacular day! 

After leaving Applebee's, rather than doing the responsible thing and going to bed, I watched movies all night. Two of them, in fact. All the way until I decided to get ready for my 7AM shift. I had a total blast. I also watched the first episode of a show called Archer, which I think is going to be right up my alley.

Yesterday, in my sleep-deprived state, I also ran into Ryann - an old friend from my sorority days. She was so excited to see me, I must have gotten seven hugs along with the declaration that she was about to cry. What a way to make a girl feel loved!

So far, I'm lovin' this whole year-older thing. 24 is treating me pretty well. And I've stayed under my pre-goal goal weight for the last three days, even eating pretty much whatever I choose (since I'm the birthday girl!).

Bring on an awesome year! I'm more than ready for it... and the flowers it will bring, as long as they're as pretty as these!

Thanks, Mom!! <3

Thanks for celebrating with me! xoxo