365 questions: 292 - 310!

292. What is the biggest obstacle that stands in your way right now?

I love the quote from Bridesmaids - "You are your problem. And you're also your solution, Annie." My biggest obstacle is always myself. My biggest obstacle to not having a job I adore is a combination of fear and having wasted so much time in school - both coming back to me. My biggest obstacle in relationships is communication - something that I try to better in myself, but where I am never perfect. I am the only thing I am able to change, so I am the only obstacle on which I should focus. 


293. What do you sometimes pretend you understand that you really don’t?

Men. It's not so much that I pretend that I understand them. I sometimes think I do, and then realize I really don't. 


294. What do you like most about your job?  What do you dislike most about your job?

Oh, boy. My full-time job, I like that I am able to educate others. That is always rewarding for me. I dislike pretty much everything else about the job. I work with management that doesn't appreciate the time and effort I put in. I work a shitty wage and am never recognized for my accomplishments. That is frustrating. My tutoring job, I absolutely adore. I love my clients, and I love helping someone master a new concept. I love that, when I show up to a particular client's house, she almost always offers a glass of wine. The only thing I dislike is that it is a 30+ minute drive to meet with some clients. 


295. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself?

Recently, I learned that I still don't really know where I'm going. There are so many paths in life that appeal to me, and it's difficult for me to choose one and focus on it while still feeling like my family will be proud of me. 


296. In one sentence, how would you describe your relationship with your mother?

She is a wonderful friend, and I'm glad we are so close. 


297. What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year?

My little sister's wedding. There was a lot going on that day that made it stick out. I had a conversation with an incredibly wise friend that changed my outlook on a few things. I stood up with my little sister as she made one of the most important decisions of her life. I observed a few behaviors from others that really bothered me. And I learned a little more about myself. 


298. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?

I need to figure my shit out. I need to find a direction, and pursue it. 


299. What makes you feel secure?

Love. Hugs from behind while I'm doing the dishes, or slaving away over the stove. Having enough money in the bank to do whatever I want. 


300. What is your favorite sound?

Rain on the roof, for sure. It's one of my favorite things in the world. 


301. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?

Honesty, trustworthiness, and happiness. I want to surround myself with people who genuinely enjoy life, who will tell me the truth, and who always have my back. 


302. What simple gesture have you recently witnessed that renewed your hope in humanity?

I received a card in the mail today from someone who I've never met, just because she knew I was having a difficult time. It was incredibly special. 


303. What is your favorite smell?

That would probably be homemade baked bread. Cookies are up there, too, though. I love coming home and having the smell of amazing food greet me. 


304. What recent memory makes you smile the most?

About two weeks ago, we had a wine class at work. I usually am unavailable on Thursday evenings because I work with a tutoring client at that time. However, she had cancelled and I texted Kyle asking if he wanted to join me for the class. He led me to believe he would be working late and wouldn't be able to make it. When I got a text message saying he was already there and asking where I was, that definitely put a smile on my face. 


305. In one word, how would you describe your childhood?

Generous. I never wanted as a child. 


306. What celebrities do you admire?  Why?

...Are there admirable celebrities out there right now? I can't say that I really admire anyone. 


307. What is the number one motivator in your life right now?

Happiness. I have decided to live for myself and do what makes me happy. Currently, that's buying a gorgeous painting to hang above my fireplace, and saving up for land in Sedona, because that's one of my favorite places in the world. 


308. What music do you listen to to lift your spirits when you’re feeling down?

It depends. I almost always listen to country, but I have a number of different playlists. Lately, I've been listening to my "Sedona Roadtrippin'" playlist, which has some hip-hop and some rock interspersed in there. My "Hicktown" playlist usually does the trick, too. 


309. If I gave you $1000 and told you that you had to spend it today, what would you buy?

If I could spend it on whatever I wanted, I would pay down part of my student loans. If I had to buy a material item, probably the wine fridge I've been eyeing at Costco. 142 bottles for $999. 


310. What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?

I attended a super fun workshop tonight that had me laughing nearly the entire time. I love Express MiE! 

365 questions: 281 - 291

281. Who has had the greatest impact on your life?

My parents. They raised me with the intention of shaping me into a respectable adult. For the most part, they've succeeded. 


282. Are you happy with where you are in your life?  Why?

Mostly, yes. I sometimes wish I had more to show for where I'm at, but I'm working toward that goal! 



283. In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?

I will be a land-owner, and I will no longer be working at a job I loathe. 


284. How have you sabotaged yourself in the past five years?

I've switched my major yet again. (and again, and again.) I spent all my money in Europe because I planned poorly. And I have not seen the detriment that my communication habits truly were. 



285. Other than money, what else have you gained from your current job?

I have gained knowledge, experience, and coworkers that consider me family. 


286. Whom do you secretly envy?  Why?

Anyone who has their shit together more than I do. Sometimes I look back on my mom at my age, and think - she was married by the time she was 24. My parents had been millionaires, built their own home from the ground up, moved out of state, and started over - all by the time my mom was nearly 25. I feel like I should have experienced so much more by now, and I am envious of all my friends from high school who are no older than I, but are in such a different place in life. 



287. In twenty years, what do you want to remember?

I want to remember that, in the year I turned 25, I was happy, and people were proud of me. 


288. What are you most excited about in your life right now – today?

Um, I'm excited that I get paid on Friday and can pay down my credit card, since I used it too much last month. I'm excited that yesterday, I talked to my first loan officer. I'm excited to read the book he gave me, and I'm excited that I got two awesome messages offering work modeling yesterday. 



289. What experience from this past year do you appreciate the most?

Not so much an experience, but a realization - that I was sabotaging my relationships because of a fatal communication mistake. I'm so glad I realized that, so I can vow never to repeat it. 


290. What is the most enjoyable thing your family has done together in the last three years?

My little sister got married last month, and we had a good time. Other than that, one of my favorite memories is when Kyle and I took my mom to Sedona around Christmas, 2010. 

It was super cold, and I was not impressed.

291. How many hours of television do you watch in a week?  A month?  A year?

Conventional television? None whatsoever. I gave away my tv. Sometimes when I go to the gym (which is very rarely), I'll watch the cooking channel, or something moderately interesting. But I would say less than 20 hours of tv per year, overall. 

I'm excited to be an adult!

I couldn't sleep last night because I was lying in bed thinking about some of the changes I'm so excited to make in the upcoming months. What to do about my current job. How my new business cards should look. Where to network to find customers. Whether it's important to have a website. How marketable I will be without my sommelier certifications. How exciting it will be to put out a blanket and sleep on my own land the night I sign the paperwork. Where I should put the enormous Costco wine fridge when I finally purchase it.

Decisions, decisions!

It also occurred to me today that, when the B&B is open, I should have monthly themed wine dinners. The wine team dinners don't have to stop when I'm no longer a part of the wine team! They can be my practice for the future - a cross between the classes I teach now and the wine dinners I love.

And then the more immediate future - I accepted a new tutoring client today. I'll be working with a third-grade boy to improve his understanding of math. The young girl I'm currently working with completed her final on Friday, and got an 81%! I am so excited for her - especially considering she failed a number of her earlier tests this past semester. Her parents just said they want to expand our tutoring sessions to encompass science and English as well, so our twice-weekly sessions will probably double, at a minimum. I had four sessions scheduled last week with the single mom I'm tutoring, and she said she will want to continue to meet 2 - 3 times per week during the semester. Plus, I still have the two math students sticking with me from last semester!

I'm super excited to take on more clients, because that means I can cut back my hours at work without a painful blow to my bank account. I can do more of something I find gratifying and satisfying and less of something I don't care to do.

This is my I'm an adult outfit. 

And that leaves me more time to be an adult. Like tonight, where I drove to the library in my *cough* "housecoat" and "relaxing pants" because I worked 61 hours just at my unsatisfying job. I came home and just had to get out of my awful work clothes.

Speaking of work clothes - one of the things I am most looking forward to about consulting is that I can wear my real clothes again. I absolutely loathe that every day, I wear the same thing to work. Sure, I might change up the pants, or the tank I wear under my work shirt, but the idea is the same. I can't wear a skirt. Or heels. Or that (hypothetical, of course) fabulous new sweater I bought. I just got a new amazing cashmere scarf in the mail and can't wear it because I work so often I never get the chance to dress up and go out.

I'm looking forward to wearing clothes that I get to choose. I'm looking forward to real sweater weather. I'm looking forward to getting paid to cook for other people. I'm looking forward to owning my own home, with my own land, my own yard, no upstairs neighbors vacuuming at midnight, and no 6am leaf-blowers outside my window. I'm looking forward to decorating each room exactly the way I want to, and having much more time to myself.

I called Mom tonight and was talking about tutoring, and work, and school, and whatnot. She said it sounds like I'm much more excited and motivated about school this time around, so she's excited that I seem to have set my mind on nothing less than success. I'm excited for school because I'm excited to be done. I'm excited that it means I'm taking this next step in life and I'm so ready for that.

xo!

One year from now.

It was recently suggested to me that I have a discussion about where things will be one year down the road.

And it got me thinking. Every year has brought about so much change, I never could have predicted where I'd be the year prior.

August 2007 - Kyle and I were dating, long-distance. I went to visit and meet his parents for the first time.

August 2008 - We moved down here to Arizona and got our first apartment together. Neither of us had even been to the state.

August 2009 - He deployed to Afghanistan during my first week of school. I didn't know how to process any of it, because we had less than one week's notice.

August 2010 - We were having horrible difficulties readjusting to him being home, and fought like cats & dogs. I kicked him out of the house a month later.

August 2011 - I came home from Europe a huge cow - a trip I had planned because we broke up a few months prior. He came over the night after I got home with dinner and a few bottles of wine, and got so drunk he slept in the tub.

August 2012 - We got back together again after one fantastic night of stir-fry and sex, because we both felt like we were coming home.


Right now, I'm working a job I mostly hate, making dirt. In one year, I hope to:

• have completed my 101 list,
• own land,
• be self-employed - or at least minimally employed by my current employer, and 
• just generally be more in control of my life. Actually look like I'm 25 and going somewhere, rather than 24 and working retail. 

Brianna's B&B

I was talking tonight to a friend from high school about these crazy Bed & Breakfast plans, and he got all excited! Started asking me about my business plan, if I had anything on paper yet, if I'd taken accounting classes... holy cow. I'm nowhere near that far yet.

I talked to Brittany today at work about ditching her loser live-in boyfriend who is still refusing to commit to her after nine years, and moving up to be my manager. She makes a mean quiche and is a total bedding snob, which quite frankly is more than I can say about myself. I've never even tried my hand at a quiche.

So. I'm one step closer to having a manager of sorts. In the last year, I've raised my credit score 20 points to better my chances of getting a fabulous rate on a loan. I have sketched a rough floor plan - four bedrooms plus my own, and perhaps a guest house to come later. I have a general idea of where I'd like to build.

This weekend, I will look at the course schedule for accounting classes offered this spring. I will research bed and breakfasts in the Sedona / Cottonwood area and gather intel on potential competitors. And I will start putting together a business plan.

Shit's gettin' real, yo. This is serious.


xo