I'm being spoiled.

In more ways than one.

My parents are pretty awesome sometimes. They are allowing me to live rent-free in their condo down here, and they even pay the electricity bill. Pretty nifty considering I have spendy wine and no wine fridge. I keep the house at no more than 75 degrees typically.

Except that I like it warmer. When Kyle and I lived together, I was constantly sneaking to turn up the air to 78 and he was following right behind me, turning it down to 72.

Apparently he's decided that his electricity bill is more important than his comfort, because he keeps his house much warmer than mine. Plus, he has an abnormally high body temperature (or it feels that way sometimes) so you hardly need a blanket when he's in bed.

Every time I come home now, I'm freakishly cold. My house is chilly. And every night before I go to bed, I turn up the heat because I don't have a bed-warmer sleeping over.

It's amusing the things I take for granted sometimes. Super cheap housing, a snugglebug, and good morning kisses even when you have stank breath.

Life isn't so bad after-all. I'm a pretty lucky lady.

365 questions: 236 - 250

236. What was your last major accomplishment?  I surprised someone who I can't easily surprise. I'd say that's probably an accomplishment. 

237. Through all of life’s twists and turns who has been there for you?  My best friend ever, Erika Gail. 

238. What or who has been distracting you?  Exhaustion. Feelings of being overwhelmed. And Kyle Robert. 

239. What are you looking forward to in the upcoming week?  Saturday night! I get off work relatively early and my puppy is coming over. 

240. Who is your mentor and what have you learned from them?  Yikes. My mentor? I don't really have one anymore. In high school, I would have said Mr. Brown. And everything I've learned from him truly can't be put into words. 

241. What are you uncertain about?  Money. School. Relationships. 

242. What do you think about when you lie awake in bed?  Someone who is turning my life upside-down. 

243. What’s something most people don’t know about you?  My shopping addiction knows no bounds. If I'm lingerie shopping, I have no control. If I'm grocery shopping, I probably need a babysitter there, too. 

244. When you have a random hour of free time, what do you usually do?  Read!

245. What makes you weird?  Haha lots of things. I love pickled beets. The only milk in my fridge is coconut milk. I live alone and yet my pantry is stuffed to the gills. I have a very Type-A personality. 

246. If you could relive yesterday what would you do differently?  Nothing, really. I had a pretty productive "morning," and then put in a 12-hour day at work. 

247. What do you do over and over again that you hate doing?  Cleaning the house. I am not naturally a clean person. 

248. Would you rather your child be less attractive and extremely intelligent or extremely attractive and less intelligent?  More intelligent. I'd much rather be remembered for the impact I had on other people because of the wise things I said or the scientific discoveries I made rather than being an unusual beauty. 

249. What white lies do you often tell?  "Sorry I'm late." 

250. What is the biggest change you have made in your life in the last year?  Oh goodness. I've made a ton of changes. I think overall, I've just become a much more responsible person. I've done a lot of introspection and realized that some of the things I've done were perhaps not the best options. I've matured quite a bit. 

365 questions: 225 - 235

225. What is your saddest memory?  I tend to block super emotional stuff out. If you want a recent sad memory, though, it would be me at Jerry's funeral, knowing I didn't make it home in time to say goodbye. That breaks my heart. 

226. What would you like to change?  The number on the scale. For something less superficial, the amount of money I owe in student loans. 

227. How many people do you love?  Lots. I can't help but care about people. 

228. What’s the best decision you’ve ever made?  Oh, goodness. The best one I've ever made? I don't know for certain. The decision to learn from my past mistakes rather than regretting anything was probably a wise one, though. 

229. What’s your favorite true story that you enjoy sharing with others?  I love recounting my ridiculous adventures in Italy from last summer - couchsurfing with men who proposed marriage, getting a room with three guys I'd met an hour before, and sharing one bed with two other people who were both feeling a little amorous. 

230. Right now, at this moment, what do you want most?  I want to know what the future holds. I've never been big on surprises. I like to have all my shit in line, and life has sorta thrown me a twist lately. 

231. What are you waiting for?  How are you writing your life’s story?  I'm waiting for love and for success. But I'm writing my story with a little humor. 

232. What makes love last?  Hard work, every day. Love is a decision, not just an emotion. 

233. What good comes from suffering?  Strength and the experience. Every experience is one from which to learn. 

234. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in the last year?  Don't take anything for granted. Not love, not people, not money. 

235. Based on you current daily actions and routines, where would you expect to be in five years?  Ideally, I would be writing for a wine magazine or consulting for a snooty restaurant. Happily married to the love of my life. Student loans hopefully paid off. Probably without kids. 

"Do you love me?"

That song is stuck in my head. You know the one - from Fiddler On The Roof. Tevya (or however you spell his name) is singing to his wife, asking that question. Her response? "I suppose I do," after listing everything she has done for him throughout their marriage.

I have been reading the Anita Blake series lately. If you've been watching my reading list, it's more than obvious. I've been going through those books like they are water. Reading #11 tonight, the protagonist is talking about her love situation, and two different guys are doing some psychoanalysis crap. And reading through it, I was suddenly reminded of myself.

Not that I've found The Perfect Man and have been holding back, or anything. That's far from the case. But the whole thing - dating a few guys at the same time, having super complicated feelings for someone who is in and out of her life - aside from the fact that her main squeezes are vampires and werewolves/wereanimals, it gave me pause.

Today is August 4th. It was supposed to be my wedding day. Nothing in the last two years has gone quite according to plan, and I've grown and changed immensely as a result. Some ways for the better. Some ways still surprise me sometimes. But today, I wish I would have been singing the closing line of that song. "I suppose I love you too."

July 101 update

Progress:

• donated some rice. 18,000+ grains, to be more specific. 
• read nine(ish) books. I lost track. I'm at 42 down, in case I lose track again next month. 
• visited another northwest state! I spent some time with my dear Erika in Seattle on Sunday. 

I didn't cross any off completely, because I sometimes fail at life. However, I feel like maybe this month is the month to change that and perhaps stop failing. 

Actually, I'm not super bummed about it. Hard to be The World's Most Productive Person when you have family in town for ten days and then Grandpa dies. I'm not sweating it. 

In other news, I have a year membership at my favorite Bikram studio now. Maybe that means I'll get skinny soon. I just have to get off my lazy ass and do something about it. 

In August, I will:

• make my first student loan payment in six years
• start reading a book in German
• read another 6+ books
• donate 50K+ grains of rice
• lose another 5 lbs. 

and then some. Wish me luck!!

xoxo

Halfway update!

Oh, boy. I can't believe that 503 days ago, I started this project. In those 503 days, I've done quite a bit. I spent my entire savings. I gained a bunch of weight. I ended a relationship that I thought for sure would be happily ever after. I've also traveled. I have helped feed the hungry. I have gotten back into reading passionately. I got a new job, doing something I love.

Life has taken me on a path I didn't expect over the last year, and I have really grown because of it. I haven't quite accomplished all the goals I had anticipated having done by now, but I'm not terribly disappointed by the progress I've made either.

Of my 101 goals, I have completed 25. I have made significant progress on another 15. Since my year update in March, that's another seven completed and five goals attempted - 40 overall compared to the 35 of March.

My progress on uncompleted goals is as follows:

• Use $100 in coupons (61% complete)
• See five theater productions (20% complete)
• Attend two concerts (50% complete)
• Watch 10 old movies (40% complete)
• Visit 15 states (20% complete)
• Blog about 50 new recipes (32% complete)
• Yelp five new restaurants (40% complete)
• Read 100 books (39% complete)
• Visit ten museums (40% complete)
• Write a letter to myself (have to find it to complete!)
• 365-day photo challenge (1 month in today)
• 365 questions (61% complete)
• Achieve my goal weight (24 lbs. away)
• Donate 1M grains of rice (36% complete)
• Clean out my closet (20% complete)

Many of my goals from here on out are ongoing goals - ones that I have to work toward, that can't be completed in one day. The ones that aren't generally involve money, and are things for which I would need to save. My progress may appear to be going slowly, but I feel I'm making a dent and will continue to chip away large chunks at a time. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the progress I have planned out! 

xoxo

Grandpa Jer is gone.

Wednesday, I bought a ticket home for next week. I called and told him to hang in there - that I was coming.

Tonight, I got the call from Mom that he's gone. I know the last week has been a huge downhill slide, and there's no way to really have known when he would go. According to the doctors, he should have had another month and a half at least.

Cancer is a bitch. I'm glad I was able to chat with him this week and tell him I loved him, and I know that he loved me too. Now it looks like I'll be heading up this week to start attending to service plans rather than spending time with him.

Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. Grandpa Jer might have lived a wonderful, full 79 years, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Mom is in the house!

And we've been rockin' out (or relaxing, as might more often be the case) since she got here a week ago. She's experienced her first Arizona dust storm, eaten at The Melting Pot for the first time, and gotten her first senior discount at the grocery store. We've lounged by the pool, drank wine, moved furniture for the neighbors, and just generally been pretty awesome.

Sara managed to choose a wedding dress, and dresses for Mom, Sara, and me are all ordered. Quick plug for Schaffer's in Scottsdale - they are amazing. Lisa is one of the best bridal consultants I've ever worked with. Also, I'm too tired to care about dangling participles. Sorry.

I have the day off tomorrow to spend hangin' out with Mom, perhaps grabbing a cinnamon swirl from Great Harvest for breakfast, and lounging around on her last day. I've had a blasty blast and hopefully you'll see more of me pretty soon!

Wild is changing my life.

The book. Wild, by Cheryl Strayed. About a year ago, my plans to hike the PCT were hatched. Sam, my awesome hippy California friend, inspired me. Talked about her dream to hike it. Talked about hiking it together. And my own dream was born.

We had initially planned to hike the John Muir Trail this July and August in preparation to do the entire trail next summer. We have been seriously talking about it since November of last year. Planning, looking at tents, dreaming about gear, and mentally divvying up the weight. So when I saw this book at the library, there was no question that I needed to read it.

It is changing my life. The dream I thought was a little too out of reach for now is back, firmly planted in my forebrain. If a heroin user can hike the PCT, never having backpacked a day in her life, then so can I. And I will. Next summer. JMT or not this month, I'm all over making this happen. If not next summer, then the summer Sam graduates. Or whatever summer we can work it in. Because this is so real I can taste it. I need this more than ever. Cheryl Strayed, thank you for the inspiration. And hiking enthusiasts, this is a must-read!

June 101 update

Completed:

• Got my brows threaded for the first time!! 

Progress:

• Read ten books. 
• Donated 5,800 grains of rice
• Lost another five lbs! 

So maybe I didn't get as much done as I had anticipated/hoped. But I got a bunch of reading out of the way, and hopped back on the freerice bandwagon. I'm making strides on getting other obligations paid off so I can concentrate on student loans. I have my modeling website up and running, and I've been making a few contacts for work. I've seen a handful of old movies, but ended up falling asleep in the middle of most of them, so I haven't been counting them toward my goal. 

Today has been full of responsible adult-ness. Chores and whatnot. But I'm about to get my rice on, and I might even finish an old movie tonight! 

Sara gets here in four days, and Mom comes to visit in eight, so I probably shouldn't make any promises on how much I'll complete this month. Here's to hoping I cross off two more goals and make progress on another two. 

I'll be back with a more comprehensive update later this week. :) 

xoxo!