Friends and relationships

I got an email today from one of the countless list servs I'm on. I love this. I rarely felt valued over Kyle's friends when we were together, and it was an ongoing battle for us. To hear from someone who has no investment in my life that yes, that is wrong, is a small victory for me.

Friends. We all love to have them. Some of our friendships began when we were in grade school. Others are as new as last week. Friends add vibrancy to the fabric that we call life.

It is wonderful to maintain friendships but it is also wise to let some fade away. Some friends are unhealthy influences from the start. Others can become that way as one or both of you change your values for living.

While good friends can bring much joy and aid to your marriage, bad friends can possibly destroy it. How do you know if your friendships are unhealthy? Here are some clues.

• A friendship needs to end if that friend doesn't get along with your best friend (your spouse).
• You know you have an unhealthy friendship if they entice you to do things you feel you shouldn't be doing. That could be going to bars, smoking, swearing, being unethical at work or spending too much money on unnecessary items.
• A bad friend constantly puts down other people and their negativity gets you to be super critical too.
• A bad friend encourages you to seek revenge or "make your spouse pay" if they hurt you in some way. They tell you to only care about yourself.
• A friendship is unhealthy if a friend doesn't respect your spiritual values and beliefs.
• A friend is no friend if they don't give back to the relationship. If you want to improve your marriage, you probably should fade away from friends who are financially, physically and mentally draining.

 The biggest mistake I made in that relationship was staying with him for so long. I am surprised at how often I am reminded of that.

Starting month 2 of photos!

I forgot to put picture #30 up, from Sunday!

I got a new pair of boots. Love them. I didn't have any flat boots, so I decided I needed a pair after forgetting to cancel my shoe club membership, so they charged me for the month.

Not the best picture ever. They're adorable.

And picture #32, from today!

I've been craving 7-layer bars for a while now. Last week, I got coconut and toffee chips at Albertson's before remembering that I needed butterscotch chips instead. Today, I went into Fresh & Easy to get some onions (I had a list. Onions were the only thing on it, sadly) and walked out with four bags of butterscotch chips. I think I'm about to have enough 7-layer bars to feed an army.

I snuck the bag of coconut in the picture, as well as the toffee chips and slivered almonds, for some reason. I still keep forgetting graham crackers, and I don't feel like going to the grocery store again tonight, so I'll just have to wait.


Today was pretty much the best day ever, btw. I woke up at 7:30. Showered, had breakfast, emailed my German teacher and told her I didn't feel well (because I didn't), went back to bed, and slept until 1. Amazeballs.

Great Harvest has some awesome breads now that it's pumpkin season!! <3 Super excited. I think I might need to treat myself next Friday, since it'll be payday!

I ran across the funniest blog I've ever seen tonight. And the comments might even be better.

Terminal Lance. I laughed so hard at this one. And this one, because it's disgusting but true.

Also, this explains a lot. Mostly about why I haven't had good sex in over four years.

And I thought this article was pretty awesome. As someone who doesn't have a tv, it's obviously not something I'll have to worry about - at least not for a long while. I don't understand the whole babies and tv thing. There are plenty of shows out right now (Yo Gabba Gabba is the one that I used to tolerate with Riley and Ben) aimed at very young children, and I really just don't understand that. Put your kid in front of some toys if you need a break, or if they need a distraction so you can get something done around the house. Watching tv isn't a mind stimulator for normal adults. It certainly wouldn't be for someone whose brain isn't capable of processing what's going on. TV CAUSES developmental delays. Way to parent.

Now that I've talked about absolutely nothing productive, I am off to do some more German homework! (See a pattern here? That's the downside of having a German class first thing every day.) I also have a P-Chem test on Thursday, so I might do some studying. Ciao!!

How moving.

I saw this video on facebook today. I don't cry often, but this definitely had me in tears.

He's not the best vocalist I've ever heard (though he is pretty good!), but his story is astonishing. And his mom's reaction throughout the entire thing was so heart-warming.

If I ever get down about the hand I've been dealt with in life, I'm going to watch this again.

On another note, today was pretty fantastic. I had such an amazing talk with Shari, and then I got in a few extra hours at work. Austin came in with a migraine, and asked to go home early. Nick said she could, as long as she could get me to work for her. So she asked, and I said yes. As she was leaving, she came over and handed me this note, with $10 clipped to the back of it.

My coworkers are awesome. Nick and I spent the evening chatting about his old sun conure, our mutual love of everything John Grisham and Michael Crichton, the Gunslinger series, historical fiction, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, road trips, and snow.

I suppose I should get some homework done before I shower and hit the sack. Ciao!

365 Questions: 141 - 150

141. Is there ever a time when giving up makes sense?  Of course. Some things just aren't attainable. If you continue to pour all of yourself into an empty or unattainable goal, you will lose yourself and/or be miserable.  

142. What makes you proud?  Of myself? Doing well in school. Completing a difficult task or goal. Of others? If they are proud of themselves, then I generally am as well. 


143. How do you find the strength to do what you know in your heart is right?  That has never really been difficult for me. If I know it to be right, I do it. 

144. Where do you find peace?  In myself, ultimately. I get there through yoga, or a good book, a long blogging session, a chat with a friend, or an awesome soak in the tub. 


145. When have you worked hard and loved every minute of it?  When working out. On a regular basis, I don't work as hard as I should. 

146. How short would your life have to be before you would start living differently today?  If I knew I would die in the next 10 - 15 years, I would make different decisions. 


147. Is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?  Loved and lost. To never know love would be so sad. Everyone deserves to know love. 

148. What would you do if you made a mistake and somebody died?  Yikes. I would hope never to be in that position. The only thing you really can do is apologize profusely, learn from your mistake, and move on. That sounds callous, I'm sure, but if you dwell on something like that - particularly the responsibility for taking someone else's life - you will be miserable. 


149. Who do you trust and why?  Erika. Nat. Jacey and Mike. My parents. Ryan. Kris and Dave. I trust a lot of different people for a lot of different reasons. Generally, either they have had plenty of opportunity to hurt me and haven't, or they have and have made things right. All of the people I mentioned, I would trust with my life. I trust that they ultimately have my best interest in mind. With the exception of the two couples, they are people that I have known for more than 15 years. And the two couples - I don't even have words for how much they have changed my life. They both mean the world to me and I trust them to the ends of the earth and back. 

150. If you were forced to eliminate every physical possession from your life with the exception of what could fit into a single backpack, what would you put in it?  My phone, my laptop and portable HD, my eReader, my math clock, my purse, my wallet, my new boots, my green lace heels, a few pairs of cute undies, some of my closet favorites... How big is this backpack we're talking about? :P 

Yoga for PTSD.

Back in August or early September, I talked to the owner at my yoga studio about getting a free voucher for a veteran with PTSD, to see if it could help. Then I invited Kyle along. Of course, he wanted "science" before he would agree to go to yoga with me. And since I wasn't willing to do all the work for him and he doesn't care enough about his mental health to look into any therapy other than marijuana, he didn't go.

Today, when rooting around the site for a new independent film on PTSD (please donate here if you have a few extra dollars!), I found a link to something that couldn't have been more perfect. When asking for "science," Kyle wanted something saying yoga was good for anxiety, basically. That it would make him less of an angry asshole. Fort Campbell's Warrior Transition Unit, a rehabilitation unit for soldiers recovering from wounds - most of them sustained in war, practices yoga as a group. There was a veteran with PTSD interviewed for the article, talking about the difference yoga made in his life, and it mostly just made me smile inside.

And yesterday's photo (day 29):
Me at Oktoberfest. Possibly one of the worst pictures of me ever. However, it's the only one I have. And I was eating a plate of sauerkraut with a sausage thing. I don't know why it looks urine-yellow.

Today's picture is of my rockin' new boots, but I haven't uploaded it yet.

I think I'm off to finish up the German homework and go to bed. Ciao!

Oktoberfest!

One of my favorite times of year.

The Phoenix Oktoberfest was today. Like in the past, my German professors offered extra credit for volunteering our time. Last year, I manned the beer tent and served beer for four hours. Tonight, I was in the wine & Jaeger tent serving more drunk morons, but having a blast.

Speaking of drunk morons, let's just say that I was the only sober one in the tent. I was working with someone else who readily offered up that she pre-gamed for a volunteer shift. Especially toward the end of the night, she was spilling more alcohol than she poured. It was pretty incredible.

Anyway, because I was so awesome, I ended up walking home with tip money! The conversation behind the first tip of the night went a little something like this.

Guy at Oktoberfest: "You know, it's super lame that you aren't allowed to have a tip jar."
Me: "Eh, not a big deal. We can't take cash for the drinks, so it's probably just easier this way."
Guy: "Well what would you do if I high-fived you with a $5 bill in my hand?"
Me: *laughed* "That would be awesome."

And so he did. And it was awesome, just as I had predicted.

Donated some more rice tonight. I'm up over 110,000 grains. Tomorrow (Sunday) is World Hunger Day! Consider donating a thousand grains. It only takes five minutes of your time.

My heart is absolutely breaking for my bff tonight. She went up to Alaska to help her aunt through her double mastectomy surgery which happened yesterday. Today, Aunt G came home from the hospital, and the kids are just holy terrors. I literally listened to the 12-year-old tell Erika while I was on the phone that she was going to put a knife through Er's skull. I don't even have words. I was so appalled. I still am, in fact. Absolutely astonished. What a little bitch.

It reminded me (because Erika said she was going to pack her shit and leave) of our freshman year of college, when we would cram both of us into a twin bed at the end of the day. I absolutely love those memories.

And with that, I suppose I'm off for the night. My back is hurting a bit, so I might walk around a little bit and see if I can get these nasty cramps on the left side to go away. Ciao!

Cheesy chicken enchiladas!

I will admit, these aren't the best-looking enchiladas ever. They also aren't the tastiest enchiladas ever, since I went the lazy route. But they're still tasty and super easy. Quasi-recipe, coming right up. :)


chicken breasts (boneless, skinless, trimmed)
canned enchilada sauce
canned green chiles (I used about 12 oz.)
canned black beans
canned corn! (see the pattern here?)

Put everything in the crockpot. Cover and cook on low for 7 - 8 hours. Then get out some tortillas and a 9x13 baking dish. Stuff your tortillas, roll 'em up, and line them in the greased dish. Sprinkle with cheese, and bake at 350* for 45 - 50 minutes.

Voila! Chicken enchiladas.

I had made them right before I left for Europe, and decided to make a ton of extras and freeze them so I would have food handy when I stepped off the plane. I ended up going grocery shopping the first day (and pretty much slept the entire day away), and Kyle brought over dinner the next day, so I wasn't hurting for them. Finally decided to get 'em out and cook them tonight. Even for being frozen for almost three months, they were pretty tasty.

I'm pretty sleepy, and I have to get up for hot yoga in the morning. I am going to try to be in bed before midnight tonight, so I should probably start getting on that. Ciao!

Photos 25 - 27

Tuesday's photo (Day 25):
I mentioned I went and bought that 3 gal. water jug thing. Well here it is, being a hog in my fridge.

Yesterday's photo (Day 26):
I love it when Raj runs around on the floor. She is such a ham, and I had to take a picture. Yes, I do need to vacuum my floor. She knows how to make a huge mess.

And today! Day 27. I tried to get a part of the display that wasn't quite so gruesome. Looks like I wasn't quite successful, but hopefully the picture is small enough that it doesn't matter. We had some people from AbortionNO.org (or I'm assuming, since that's the web address that was plastered up) on campus today. They had their huge fear-mongering abortion display boards right outside the MU. I really can't stand these campaigns. People are going to have abortions whether or not you try to tell them that it's genocide, or throwing their baby in the trash, or any of the other things the posters said. Ugh.

I took an amazing 2+ hour nap earlier, and now I'm ready to do something productive! I think after I finish my German homework, I'll come back and review an article on PTSD that I read earlier today. Ciao!

100,000 grains of rice donated!!

Right there, at the top, where it says "My totals." I rock!

Today was... certainly eventful. Made a few phone calls. Had a small freakout. Did some hot yoga. Had another freakout.

I have to finish up my German newspaper article I'm writing tonight. More tomorrow, perhaps. Ciao!

Life just got so much better.

I withdrew from my math class tonight. I was really wearing myself thin between my 18 credits + work, and my math class is one of the ones that makes me a little concerned I won't reach my 3.5 GPA goal for this semester. I looked at my major map, and if I retake it next semester along with Linear Algebra (which I took 6 years ago, but need a refresher before I move forward with my 400-level math classes), I can take Advanced Algebra this summer and still be on track. My life just got a lot less stressful, and my Tuesday and Thursday schedule just opened up a lot more. I will have more time to be a better student in the rest of my classes, and more time to spend on myself, which I can always use.

There were some young teenagers wandering around the complex tonight for a birthday party, playing a game called "Bigger or Better." The first group wanted something bigger or better than a dinner plate, so I gave them one of the plants that was here when I moved in. I should have given them the fake one instead of the one in the awesome glass vase, but I didn't. I grabbed the one that was closest to the door, thankful that I didn't have to toss them myself. The second group wanted something bigger or better than a pogo stick. I didn't have anything I felt like giving up for that, so I sent them on their merry way.

A week or so ago, on one of my frequented forums, someone asked a sweeping "if you had twins today, what would you name them?" question. I've always had two boy names picked out, and one girl name, but I was having trouble with the second name. It came to me when I was laying in bed last night.

Boys: Owen Michael and Gavin Patrick.
Girls: Caoimhe Marie and Caelan Olivia.

And if you don't like my names, you can keep your opinion to yourself. I've heard more than enough feedback on Caoimhe (pronounced Kee-vah) than I care to.

I inadvertently made progress on one of my goals tonight. I headed to Water & Ice to fill up my gallon jugs that I got a while ago and keep refilling. Well I took the tops off, and three of the four smelled sour. So I ended up purchasing a 3 gallon refillable jug thing that they had there - a smaller version of the 5-gal ones you usually find inverted on top of a cooler. So now I have my first jug to go on top of the cooler. I just need the cooler to go with it.

I was doing a bit of research earlier this afternoon on hybrid vehicles, and I found that Tesla is coming out with an electric car - the Tesla S! It is pretty sexy. If it wasn't nearly $60,000, it would be on my wishlist. Unfortunately it also has a battery life of about 160 miles, with a 5-hour recharging time. No more trips to California in that thing.

I suppose I should go put together my "cheat sheet" for my programming test tomorrow. I'll update tomorrow with today's picture. Ciao!