Friends. We all love to have them. Some of our friendships began when we were in grade school. Others are as new as last week. Friends add vibrancy to the fabric that we call life.
It is wonderful to maintain friendships but it is also wise to let some fade away. Some friends are unhealthy influences from the start. Others can become that way as one or both of you change your values for living.
While good friends can bring much joy and aid to your marriage, bad friends can possibly destroy it. How do you know if your friendships are unhealthy? Here are some clues.
- A friendship needs to end if that friend doesn't get along with your best friend (your spouse).
- You know you have an unhealthy friendship if they entice you to do things you feel you shouldn't be doing. That could be going to bars, smoking, swearing, being unethical at work or spending too much money on unnecessary items.
- A bad friend constantly puts down other people and their negativity gets you to be super critical too.
- A bad friend encourages you to seek revenge or "make your spouse pay" if they hurt you in some way. They tell you to only care about yourself.
- A friendship is unhealthy if a friend doesn't respect your spiritual values and beliefs.
- A friend is no friend if they don't give back to the relationship. If you want to improve your marriage, you probably should fade away from friends who are financially, physically and mentally draining.
The biggest mistake I made in that relationship was staying with him for so long. I am surprised at how often I am reminded of that.