Sunday, February 5, 2012

Hero worship.

I saw a thread today that was posted by a guy, upset that his wife doesn't worship the ground he walks on just because he's a service member. It prompted a discussion about heroes, definitions of heroes, and a lot of great comments were made.

Being my "hero" means being there for me, through everything that life is going to throw our way. It means supporting each other through ups and downs, it means me never having to worry about my heart because I know you won't ever hurt it. 
- Sarah

My advice to you... is to treat her with the utmost respect, appreciation, and integrity that you want her to treat you with. That's all it takes to be a hero. Be a man that is worth wanting. Be a man that makes her happy, that makes her smile when she's having a hard day, that holds her when she shows weakness despite a tough exterior, be the man that she wants to tell everything to, be her best friend.
- Sarah 

My husband is my hero when he lets me go to bed early and takes care of the kids for me, empties the dishwasher when I know he hates to, cooks dinner before I get home, stops at the store for milk cause he knows we're out. When he takes my side in irrational and illogical arguements with my mother. When he get gas in the car b/c it's cold or snowing. When he stands up for me. I could go on and on, and I can tell you, his service is at the bottom of the list.

You probably are your wife's hero, and it probably has nothing to do with the uniform. Let the rest of America put you on a pedastal. In fact, you can stand up next to your wife on it. But, when you're at home, let her reasons for you being a hero, be between you and her.

My husband walks next to me, not in front of me. Our fingers are intertwined when we hold hands. He may be taller, but he's never looked down on me. We compliment each in every way. If you are trying to be her hero, you are going to make it seem like you're trying to be above her. Love doesn't need a hero, it needs a partnership.
- MissQ

It just brought back all the "fighting for your freedom" arguments and the different expectations I feel like Kyle had for me. His ex-wife was super moto. She had a USMC blanket embroidered with her name. As I was once quoted saying, she held a special place in her heart, and her vagina, for the Marines. The guy she left Kyle for was a Marine, I think. Some kind of service member, anyway.

It wasn't a big deal when we started dating, because he was so close to getting out. But when he was recalled, I definitely remember a lot of confusion. Like the second tattoo he wanted so badly. I totally got the first one (his James 15:13 dogtags), and I think it's an awesome tat. But he also wanted an "old-school" EGA. I didn't understand why he wanted a "job logo" tattooed on himself. How he mailed me an "I love my Marine" pin for my purse because he wanted me to show other people how proud I was of him. How astonished and almost elated he was when I asked for an old blouse for my purse.

I feel like this face is pretty representative of the way things were. It was my face when he would get upset about me claiming he wasn't fighting for my freedoms. It was his face when I would make a stupid comment about the military, not knowing how something worked.

Anyway. Point being, a uniform does not a hero make. Everyone has different definitions of what a hero is, and even whether or not their partner should be their hero. I agree with the last quote I mentioned. I used to feel like people looked down on me because I would freely admit that Kyle was not my hero.

I don't know why all that matters, or even why I mention it, but that thread got my mind rambling earlier, and that photo makes me giggle, so there you have it all.

I'm reading a new book, so I'll leave you with photo four. Raj says hi. <3


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