A new book, and some birdy news!

Lindsey recommended a week or so ago that I read Why Mars and Venus Collide, by Dr. John Gray. And so I am! I put in a hold at the library and I got it yesterday. I'm going to do the same note-taking thing here that I've done in the past.

• Life is not about having everything our own way whenever we want it. 
• No one is ever perfect, but your partner can be the perfect person for you. 
• If we continue to correct and adjust ourselves, we can create a lifetime of love. When we can own our mistakes and adjust our actions, we can reduce the tension in our relationships. 
• By examining how we behave differently in stressful situations, a woman's never-ending to-do list, for example, I hope to give you new insights into how our diverse responses to stress cause us to clash. [This one made me laugh, because just last night, I was transferring over the huge to-do list I wrote for myself at work this weekend into my planner.]
• Respect is honoring who a person is and being open to appreciate everything he or she has to offer. [I'm not sure I totally agree with this definition, but I do like the first part. Honoring.]
• Women today are so tired and stressed, they too want a happy wife to greet them at home. [Interesting! And I sort-of agree. I know I definitely appreciated it when Kyle picked me up from work and/or had made lunch/dinner, etc. and was both that smiling face and had helped out around the house.]
• Returning home after work causes most women's stress levels to increase. 

And I think I'm done reading for the day now. At least that. I'm going to watch a bit of the Casey Anthony trial online, and try to get my birdy to snuggle with me. I discovered today after walking into the bedroom to find an egg at the bottom of the cage, that my Raj is not a boy bird! 

Hello, little egg. 

It was cracked from dropping. :(

My birdy is a big girl now! It's so weird to say that. Someone suggested I change her name to Jasmine, to stay in the same vein. I'm not sure I'm a huge fan of that, but I might call her Jazz. I'm so overwhelmed! My bird has a sex change just a few hours ago! I'm still not sure how to process all of this. 

I finished up my evening watching some amazing ACN training. This month's video was so inspirational! I am looking forward to making ACN work for me. I haven't tried hard enough to get this off the ground - especially since I've been dealing with everything surrounding the house, and breakup drama, etc. - and I am the reason I have not done well. I am taking responsibility for my business right now. I am dedicated to making this work for me, and I know it can happen. Starting now, I will not make any more excuses. ACN is my vehicle to my savings goal. $15K, here I come! 

With that, I'm getting pretty sleepy and I have a dance lesson with Tony tomorrow. I need to get my beauty sleep relatively soon! Goodnight, world. <3

Another 101 update!

I'm pretty bad at updating my blog entry, so I created a page at the top that has a link to my list. Still, I haven't been updating that as often as I should! So I went through today and updated a few things. 


First, I had to change a few goals. I realized that not everything was a concrete yes-I-can-check-this-off type of deal, so I changed some things. 


Starting with the ones I have completed: there are two! I bought myself flowers (more than once, actually!) and made an amazing new friend. Jacey, Miranda, and Sam are all wonderful women that I have gotten really close to over the last few months. 


Now updated goals! These are goals that have several parts and I have completed at least one. 


Go see five theater productions. When Dad was down here in April, we went to see Fiddler on the Roof. There is one of five!


Watch 10 new-to-me movies that were in theatres more than five years ago. Jace and Mike rented The Pelican Brief a few weeks back. Hadn't ever seen it before! There's one down. 


Take 3 roadtrips. On Monday 05/16, I left again for California with Sara. We stayed with Grandma and Grandpa, and I hung out with some friends in the evening. We were there through Wednesday. There's another one down!


Read 100 books. I have read four so far. The first one, I blogged about already. The Manny. I have also read  The Best Romantic Ideas: 365 Great Ways to Say "I Love You" by Mara Goodman-Davies, which was pretty good! There were some cute ideas in there that I might not have thought of otherwise. I finished up The Bride and Groom Happiness Test by Susan Adams, which was crap. It was a book of questions, but they were all common sense stuff. And then the last book I read was simply amazing. What Women Want Men to Know by Dr. Barbara deAngelis, I believe it's spelled. Seriously amazing. It gave me the words to say so many things I've wanted to say over the last year(s). It made me feel I was NORMAL, which was a relief. I am just so glad I read it. So that's four down. 


Visit 10 museums. When Dad was down here, we also went to see Body Worlds at the Arizona Science Center. Not only was it SUCH an amazing experience, but that's one museum to cross off the list!


And I think that's all I have to update with right now. I am reading another book right now that I'm pretty excited about, so I'll have more book updates soon, I'm sure. 


Off to read some more!! <3

It's raining men!

I feel like the last 10 days have been just crazy!

Last Friday - dinner with Ben.
Last Saturday - Miranda's mom's graduation party. When I left, Kyle told me if I ever am interested in dating older men, to give him a call.
Last Sunday - Jonathan was flirting shamelessly.
Monday - pool and drinks with Mike. Stayed the night.
Tuesday - dinner and drinks with Ryan and Sam. Stayed out until 1:45. Ryan and I had a dark corner of the bar to ourselves and just chattered away. <3
Friday - dancing lesson with Tony. Then, at the party for work, had a resident offer to fix my heel (since I broke it) and ask what I would be doing after work.
Tonight - dinner with Ben again, and I got a message from Kyle earlier asking me to go out with him.

It's raining men!

It's been a few days! Just a quick note.

I'm super sleepy, so just a quick note before bed.

Sorry I have been MIA the last few days! I was in California spending time with my grandparents and some amazing friends Monday - Wednesday. I slept in today, had a counseling appointment, and then had to sort out some drama at the house. The condo situation is a complete nightmare.

Dinner was a joint effort with Jace tonight. Tried my hand at some yellow squash without the garlic & wine seasoning and it turned out pretty well!

Anyway, California was wonderful. Pictures and a more substantive update to come. :)

A quick update. :)

I am home from Sue's graduation party, and felt the need to give a quick update.

When I was over at Sue's for Easter dinner, she had their friend Kyle over as well. He's 45. Wife left him a year ago on Memorial Weekend. Super sweet guy. Former law enforcement.

Anyway, he was also there tonight, and when I went to leave, he walked over, gave me a big hug, and told me if I'm ever interested in dating someone older, to give him a call.

I was flattered. And the really interesting thing about that, to me, is that I had just finished telling the table that I withheld sex in my relationship for nearly three years. After making the case that sex is paramount for guys, he asked me out, basically. Interesting. Curious. Flattering.

He's wonderful. That put a smile on my face tonight. And now I'm sleepy and off to bed. Goodnight, world!

101 update - my new bff4l!

I'm crossing off the goal to make a new close friend. Jacey definitely fits the bill! After our road trip to Modesto this weekend and spending nearly 55 hours together nonstop, I feel like we just bonded so much more.

Maybe I should back up and say Jacey and her husband are the couple I met at La Bocca on the night Kyle picked up his things back in March. I decided to go out by myself rather than sit inside and mope, and I ended up standing behind them in line, chatting, and sitting at their table, eating dinner with them, and kindling an amazing friendship. Two weeks later, Jace and I went out to dinner at Centro Paninoteca. Two days after that, she called to invite me to sit down with Ron Riisager and hear about the business she is building with her husband.

So I did. Wednesday, April 13th, I sat down with the three of them and signed up. I sat through two hours of presentations before deciding I wanted to jump in, but I still did it. I was launched on Friday, and Saturday was the big house fiasco. They offered their home to me on Sunday, but I didn't move in until the next Saturday.

They have been wonderful. We eat dinner together most nights. We have made dinner as a collective effort before. I even made dinner for all of us tonight, and it was so wonderful getting compliments on my cooking! I went out to dinner with Jacey to La Cucina Italiana last Sunday night.

I just feel so blessed that she and her husband have been placed in my life. I absolutely adore both of them. They are both so incredibly giving. They are kind. They are just wonderful people. I have known them for less than a month and a half, but I would trust them with my lives. (And I have trusted them with $500 in cash, just laying around.)

I am so amazed at how quickly our friendship has grown over the last month, and I am looking forward to seeing where life will take our friendship. <3

More updates!

It's been another little while since I've updated, and life has certainly gone on!

Last Thursday, I had an appointment at Fuchsia for a facial. I completely spaced it, and got a phone call 15 minutes after my appointment time asking if I was going to make it in. Oops. They gave me the option of either a $30 charge, or them taking one of my services. I didn't like either of my choices, so I asked if I could reschedule for a different service that day without being charged the $30. Sure enough, they booked me for a massage later in the afternoon for no penalty. My therapist was Jessica. Amazing. I needed a massage so badly, and she did such an awesome job.

Ended up only going to Express Mie on Thursday night for Josefa's arms class. Killer, as usual. Friday afternoon, had lunch with Tony at MBFGE and then went wine tasting.

The weekend wasn't terribly exciting. I called Grandpa on Saturday for his birthday, and stopped by the house to grab some groceries. Sunday, I had invited Kyle's dad to church with me, but Kyle said something rude in response about wanting “his” shower curtain back, so I dropped it. I called Ron later and left a voicemail letting him know that I would like to take him out to dinner that evening. Got a text back from Kyle when I was out at dinner with Jacey saying they were at the Grand Canyon.

Monday, I worked like crazy on my paper for German. I ended up changing the premise of the paper around 3 o'clock, when the paper was due at 5:40. It ended up being 14 pages, and I made at least two people cry when I presented my paper in class. 100%, baby!! And it was worth 40% of our final grade. It was quite possibly the most amazing paper I've ever written. It wasn't my best work – I re-wrote 14 pages in the two hours before it was due, but it was so poignant and my imagery was spectacular. I am so pleased with the way it turned out.

And then today! The last day of class for the semester. The due date for my Race, Medicine, & the Body essay was pushed back from tomorrow to Friday morning, which I am incredibly thankful for – especially because my computer was being super dumb all day and wouldn't connect using the ethernet cord that was plugged right into it. I desperately need a new laptop. Maybe I'll ask for one for my birthday.

And with that, I'm outta here. It's past my bedtime.  

Jealous. :(

I can hear Josh and Miranda giggling in their bedroom. They're talking; he's giving her big, noisy kisses, and loving up on the dog.

I miss that. So much. :(

Week from hell.

Tuesday morning, my world turned upside down.

Monday night, I got home from class, hung out on the computer, talked to Kyle a bit - nothing terribly exciting. I got a phone call from Natelie - one of my best friends since kindergarten. Her husband likes to be a major d-bag sometimes. The last time I remember was the night of Jay's going away party - March 12th. Nat called and I spent a good portion of the night either outside on the phone with her or in Kyle's room on the phone with her. They had gotten in an argument and he just up and took the car and left. Wasn't answering his phone, at one point made it very clear he was drinking. I think he made some rude comments about wanting nothing to do with her. I don't remember for sure.

Well about a week ago, he got home on another R&R from the slope. Monday was Nat's first day at a bank up in Wasilla, and then she had class in the evening, so Aaron was home by himself pretty much all day. Well when she got home, she brought in the groceries, and I guess he blew up at her - saying she didn't appreciate everything he does for her, or something like that, and then stormed off, taking the car again, and leaving his cell phone at home.

So she called me, bawling. I talked to her for a little bit, then suggested she call her mom, pack an overnight bag, and stay over there so she would have a vehicle to take to work in the morning. She said she was packing her bag while she was on the phone with me, and hung up saying she would call her mommy and call me back if she needed me later that evening.

So I texted her the next morning on my way to class. Said I hoped she was able to have a good time with her mommy the night before, and that I was thinking about her. I got a text back later that said she never went over to her mom's the night before, Aaron ended up coming home around 1AM, and that she was in the hospital.

WOAH. Not what I was expecting to hear.

We texted back and forth a few times, and then I called her. We only had a few minutes before she was called back, but the short version is that Aaron came home and slept on the couch. Before Nat left for work, they ended up getting in a physical altercation. She ended up in the hospital for five hours, and spent several more at the courthouse seeking a restraining order, and then at the Palmer Police Dept. Aaron was arrested on one felony and one misdemeanor count of assault, and his bail was set at $5000. He is still in custody.

So my week has been super stressful, trying to comfort her and be there as much as possible, not knowing the right things to say and not being able to actually be there in person. Then my period started Wednesday while I was at a meeting at Starbucks on 5th & Mill, so there's a spendy pair of pants that I hope can be recovered.

I had a super emotional conversation with Lindsey last night about everything that's been going on with Kyle lately, and was bawling like a baby. Finished off the last two glasses in my bottle of vinho verde that's been in the fridge for over a week. (Oops!)

I'm heading over to Kris's tonight for some pot roast and red wine. Hoping that will be a nice, relaxing change of pace in my out of control week. I also called Dance Doctors earlier and got in for a 4:30 private lesson, so here's hoping that will relieve some stress, too.

I'm off to shower before Mike comes over at 2 to introduce me to more ACN stuff!

Part two of the 5,000 question survey!

101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically? Like sunshine! Elation, smiles so big your face hurts, and a resounding sense of peace. 

102. List five people you love starting with the one you love the absolute most.

A My mama

B My daddy

C Natelie Ann!

D Erika Gail

E Little Sister


103. How many movies have you gone to see this month?  In theaters? None.

104. If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for? 1) End world hunger. 2) Make getting a college education more affordable. 3) Provide free healthcare to all who are unable to afford it. 

105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense? Take baths, drink wine, read, get massages.

106. How much money would it take to get you to drive to school naked in the springtime and get out of the car?  None. Just the guarantee that I wouldn't get in any legal trouble. It's beautiful in the springtime here! I would gladly accept money, though. 

107. Have you ever killed an animal?  Definitely not. 

108. Have you ever lost someone close to you?  My great-grandparents, Ty, and Zack. I was young when my grandparents passed. I lost touch with Ty after I left for college, and I wasn't as close to Zack as I would have liked to be - I also lost contact after I left for UI. But they all meant a lot to me.

109. What do you think of cloning?  I think it's a cool concept. There are facets of both sides that I agree with and I don't think this was intended to be a super long question. For the most part, I do not feel it is unethical. 

110. Do you read or watch TV more often?  Definitely read. Again, the whole no tv thing really puts a cramp on my tv watching abilities. 

111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety?  Nope. The job of our government is to protect our freedoms, not our safety. If I am asked to step through the cancer machine or be molested when I fly to Alaska this summer, you can bet I'll appeal the $10K fine and march my happy ass right back home. 

112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive? I wouldn't punish him at all. It's not my place to do so. 

113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body? Nope

114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV? On the radio - I won a Nickelodean trapper keeper when I was in elementary school! I've been on tv for various performance-related stuff, but never alone that I can remember. 

115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes? Nope

116. Have you ever won a contest or competition? I won a math competition in 6th grade! 

117. Do you like to watch The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross? I love Bob Ross and his happy little accidents. 

118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living? My granny is a nurse. Her husband was in the military and has very little education, so he stayed home and worked on the farm when Mom was little. Dad's dad was a general contractor, and I'm not sure if grandma ever worked. 

119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? Medically? Not really. My mom's grandparents moved from Poland to Germany and then emigrated to the US. My dad's grandparents were Irish. My dad's mom has some American Indian in her somewhere, and I think her dad or grandfather - someone had a very young Indian wife. I vaguely remember a "tying your wife to the wagon" story. More recently interesting is that my dad was disowned by his parents for quite some time. 

120. Is there anyone you trust completely? My parents. I trust them to do whatever they believe is in my best interest. 

121. Have you ever lost someone without having the chance to say goodbye? Yep. Every time.

122. How do you feel about women in politics? I don't see the big deal?

123. Would you rather have an indoor Jacuzzi or an outdoor pool? Indoor! Outdoor stuff gets dirty a lot easier and is a pain to clean. 

124. What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own? History, architecture, art, relationships, mental disorders, everything medical... A lot of things.

125. Would you consider yourself to be intelligent? Yes

126. Would you consider yourself to be wise? No

127. Have you ever given or received a lap dance? Both.

128. Have you ever spoken to a homeless person? I don't think I've ever carried on a conversation, but I've talked to them in passing, yes.

129. Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? I don't think there are subway tunnels here. But sure, I guess.

130. If you could add 70 years to your life but only by making some random person die 70 years sooner would you? No. 

131. Can you finish any of the following lyrics?

A: Nothing to kill or die for... Nope

B: Late comings with the late comin' stretcher... Nope

C: I could make a film and make you my star... Nope, but that sounds dirty.

132. Were you ever with someone while they died? No.

133. Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? Rock star, for sure! I am not interested in having the entire world analyze everything I've ever done wrong. Politics is ridiculous. 

134. Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? Plenty of times.

135. Have you ever sent someone a surprise though the mail? Yep

136. Are you looking forward to any concerts right now? I would be for Country Thunder, but I'm not paying $80/day for tickets. So no.

137. Of all animated movies, which is the best one you've ever seen? Despicable Me was the last one I saw, so that's what I'll say. 

138. What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving? Darius Rucker! Hootie and the Blowfish. Any country. I love driving to "Bonnie and Clyde."

139. What do you think is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever accomplished? Wow, that's a loaded question. I'm not sure I can answer that. 

140. What could a member of the opposite sex do to impress you? I don't need to be impressed. I need to feel important and respected. 

141. About how many emails do you get a day? Way too many. Of the ones I haven't deleted today, I have 32 at 1:30 in the afternoon. 

How many of those emails are junk mail? Most.

How many of them are forwards? Almost none.

142. What's your favorite thing to do online besides write in your diary and hang out at this site? MilitarySOS!

143. Do you believe Kurt Cobain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain) killed himself or was it a conspiracy? I have no reason to believe that he did not kill himself. 

144. Have you ever though about hitchhiking across the country? Nope. I'm pretty safety conscious and hitchhiking weirds me out. 

145. Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip? No one, since I wouldn't go on one in the first place. 

146. Of the following, which word best describes you: accurate, bold, charming, dependable? Dependable. 

147. If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down and get married? If you are married, how old were you at the time? I'm ready to settle down now, and will be ready for a wedding after I graduate school. 

148. Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time you will ever see them? Nope, that seems like a pretty morbid, negative outlook. 

149. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out?  I almost never see movies in theater. I couldn't tell you what is coming out any time soon. 

150. What is your quest? To be happy and live a satisfied life. 

151. What is louder and more annoying: 200 adults talking or one four-year-old screaming? Louder? The adults. More annoying? The screaming.

152. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda triangle? No.

153. Who are you the most jealous of? I'm not jealous of anyone, really. While I may not always be happy, I'm pretty content the way I am. 

154. What is the happiest way you can start your day? With a kiss, some snuggles, and homemade breakfast made by someone other than me. Since that won't be in the cards any time soon, probably some sweet time with my birdy. 

155. Do you ever have moments where you feel like everything is all right in the world? Absolutely. 

156. Who thinks that you are offensive? Probably several people. I am pretty opinionated and don't always make the effort to voice my opinion in a way that is not offensive. 

157. If you had to teach a class in something, what would you be able to teach people? Math or music. If it's just a one-day thing, I would be able to lecture on a number of other things. 

158. Have you ever had a spiritual experience (an experience that cannot be explained by science)? Not that I can think of, no. 

159. Do you believe that this experience was truly mystical or do you think there is some scientific explanation for it, only you don't know what it is? N/A

160. Do you get offended easily? It depends on who is doing the offending. If someone close to me is out of line, I am more offended than I would be if it was a stranger or acquaintance. But for the most part, I don't concern myself with the behavior of others. 

161. Would you still love and stay with your signifigant other if he or she had to have a breast or testicle removed? Of course. 

162. Do you believe in fate or free will? A little of both. 

163. Do you believe that only boring people get bored? No.

164. Can life change or are we all stuck in vain? I'm not really sure I understand the question. Life experiences change us. Experiences vary from day to day. 

165. What changes are you afraid of? I'm a little afraid of jumping into the dating game again. I'm also a little afraid of graduating college and being shoved out into the real world. 

166. Are you a day person or nocturnal? Definitely nocturnal. 

167. What one CD could you listen to for an entire week (no mixed CD’s, it must be an album)? Darius Rucker - Learn to Live. 

168. Which is worse, working in retail, food service, or an office? There are pros and cons to all of 'em. I actually enjoyed working in food service, but I think it can be a pretty thankless job. 

169. What's the coolest job you ever had? Working for HDR.

170. What is one central idea that your thoughts seem to come back to? Success

171. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress? Not really, no.

172. If you had the power to control one person and make this person do anything you wanted for a whole day, who would you pick and what would they do? The selfish, hurting part of me says Kyle, and I would have him be the man I wanted to marry. But since that will absolutely not help anything and just set me back, I would probably say someone who is in charge of student loans at AlaskAdvantage, and I would have them dismiss all of mine. haha

173. What star sign are you and what is your sign like? Cancer. Emotional. 

174. Did the Blair Witch Project scare you? Never saw it.

175. Are you in constant fear of death? Nope.

176. Does fear of death keep you from building a life? Definitely not. 

177. Do you like all your movies to be in wide-screen? Haha I don't care. I watch everything on my laptop, so it doesn't really matter. 

178. Are you a fan of any comic books? Eh, I'm not a big comic book reader. 

179. At what age did you attend your first funeral? I think 3rd grade, so about 8. It was my great-grandfather's funeral. 

180. What do you smell like (lotion, cologne, sweat)? B&BW Butterfly Flower perfume. 

181. What are your greatest sources for wisdom? My parents, some high school teachers, my German prof, and sometimes my MSOS ladies. 

182. When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from? I don't remember. 

183. What is your favorite band? Darius Rucker! But if his band doesn't count, then probably Barenaked Ladies. 

184. What's the best cheesy 80's song? Never Gonna Give You Up, obviously. 

185. What's the best kind of movie to see on a date? I'm a rom com fan, but probably any comedy. 

186. Do you like to sit in the front, middle or back of the Movie Theater? middle

187. Have you ever been inside an abandoned building? Yep! Had a photo shoot there. 

188. Under what circumstances would you agree to work for free? If I got something out of it - personal satisfaction, compensation other than monetary, or something else that I haven't thought of. 

189. Candles or strobe lights?  Candles. 

190. Do you think the Lord of the Rings movies are true to the books or did Hollywood change the story too much? Haven't seen the movies or read the books, so I couldn't tell you.

191. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat? Neither, really. For the most part I don't judge strangers. I also am hesitant to strike up a conversation with a stranger, though. 

192. Is it natural for human beings to fear and distrust each other, or is it cultural? I think it's natural. Hobbes' State of Nature and all that.  

193. What do you really want to buy? I would prefer not to buy it, but I've been lusting after a Burberry tote forever. 

194. You have to choose. Would you be happier marrying someone rich for their money or living in the streets and subway tunnels with someone you love?  Being poor and having love. However, I wouldn't start dating someone who I didn't respect, and I think that I would find it tough to respect / start a relationship with someone on the streets. 

195. If someone wanted to understand you what book could they read that would help? A Tour of the Calculus lol

196. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves 'one nation under god'? No. 

197. In what sense are you a minority? I'm a redhead!

198. Are you anti social? Not really, but I rarely reach out to strangers unless I feel comfortable in the situation. 

199. Do you photograph well? Depends on the day. I used to hate all photographs of me. For the most part now, though, I think I photograph well or decently. 

200. Do you think that human beings would survivor through a nuclear winter? I'm not sure how that would be possible. So no.