I never realized before how much I truly value waking up every morning with a smile on my face. How much I value happiness. When Mom has said so many times that I am a different person now than I was a year ago, or several years ago, I have brushed it off. When she's said that I don't smile as much, and I am much more negative, I have ignored her and didn't believe her. I recognize now that she was right! Some things, you don't recognize what you have until it's gone. Other things, you don't recognize what you were missing until you have it. The latter is me right now. I am truly happy, and I can't remember the last time I could say that. I am amazingly, blissfully happy. I love my life right now.
My Wednesday was wonderful. I woke up to a call from Tami inviting me out to lunch with Diana and Jamie, since they are in town. Skipped breakfast, showered, got ready, and got to the restaurant early. Ordered early, which was useless. By the time I left at 12:40, they still hadn't brought my food out. Anyway - met them both, chatted with Tania a bit since I sat next to her, ate some soup and a breadstick, and headed out for my dance lesson with Tony.
We had a lesson with Ryan at 1. Salsa, Rumba, Chacha, and some swing. So much fun! We laughed at each other and at ourselves. Ryan commented about an amateur dance competition coming up in September that he thinks we should enter. What a blast that would be! No way could we pay for lessons until then, though.
Dance lesson over, we headed to the mall. I tried on some bikinis at Frederick's since I was planning on ordering one or two online. I was fitted for a bra again since I've gotten a little smaller, and told I've lost just over a cup size. Not a problem! I might not have to get a reduction if my boobs will shrink on their own. Wandered around the mall some more. Bought two pairs of shoes, two candles from B&BW, and the most liberating purchase - two pairs of sunglasses. I didn't have to worry about being told they were hideous or ugly, told I look like Kyle's ex-wife, or threats of breaking them. And I love them! I got a pair of Betsey Johnsons and a pair of Jessica Simpsons. And then I bought a miniature cookie sandwich to celebrate. :)
Jacey and I went for a walk down to the park when I got home. We had a really great chat about motivation, working out, and the opinions of others. Then I went over to Ben's to pick up his Digital Talk lead form, and hung out there chatting for an hour or so. He invited me up to Sedona with him and his mom next week - Wednesday through Friday. (They're staying through Saturday, but I would have to come back early.) I would be responsible for my own accommodations, though, so we'll see if I can swing it. I would love to go along! They're heading up to Jerome first, possibly spending some time at the wineries, and then heading up to Sedona on Thursday.
Came home again and listened to a Jillian Michaels interview. How inspirational! She is an awesome woman. I learned quite a few things just from that hour-long interview segment.
I had missed a call from Kyle H. when I was gone, so I called him back. We finalized plans for Friday's date. He is so sweet! I am really looking forward to that. He's picking me up, and we're going to dinner somewhere in Old Town Scottsdale.
Then, Ryan (not the dance instructor, obviously) and I were chatting online, and he asked if I wanted to join him in Europe for a month in July this summer. Um - YES! Absolutely yes! He's wanting to do an Eastern European thing. Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia, and end up in Greece, keeping it around $3500. Backpacking, staying in hostels, etc. Amazing. Truly. Not only have I been wanting to do something like that since I was in high school, but I can't think of anyone I would rather go with. He's a big, strong guy so I don't have to worry about safety. He's honorable so I don't have to worry about my safety with him being compromised. He is intelligent and resourceful so I don't have to worry about getting lost or finding ourselves with nothing to do. And he's entertaining so I don't have to worry about being bored for the 17-hour flight. Hellooooo, ACN money! Definitely hitting the phones hard in the next few days to start building that residual income that's going to pay for my trip.
And then I met some absolutely hilarious people. Jacey has a family friend that flew into town tonight staying here. A guy friend of hers dropped her off at the house earlier, and stayed to chat for a little bit. They are both so incredibly entertaining. Apparently they tried tricking each other at the airport so they wouldn't know who the other was. The guy wore a hat, aviators, a fake mustache, a fanny pack, and was cruising around in a wheelchair. The girl wore her brother's oversized polo, baggy pants, and her hair up under a ball cap. The guy works at Gammage, so he was also giving us the low-down on upcoming shows. I can't wait for Wicked next February!! Miranda and I are going together.
I just had forgotten how amazing it is to wake up smiling and go to bed happy. I had become such a super negative person, and now I find myself rejoicing in the smallest things. A new pair of sunglasses. A dance lesson. A wonderful homemade dinner. And I am sharing that joy. I know other people are picking up on how much happier I am. This is me. This is the Brianna I want to project to the world. I'm tired of being grumpy, negative Brianna. I am amazing. I am spontaneous. I love to laugh. I am fun. And everyone I know is being short-changed when I don't show them that side of me.